By Vikki Spencer, MomWhisperer.com
When my son was 10 months old, I had four wisdom teeth extracted. It was blissful. Sure, there was pain, but for he first time in over 10 months I had two nights of sleep. My dentist never saw a happier patient at the 48 hour check-up. If bribery worked, teeth for sleep seemed like a no-brainer.
Eight months later, having tasted the holy grail of sleep, I claimed the following weekend. Solo. I would make meals and hubby would need to clear his schedule (a.k.a. – call to make sure his mother was available). I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew one thing – that sleep made me a normal human being. Since I couldn’t get it at home (don’t ask), I’d go away to get it.
What started as a move born out of self preservation has turned into my annual “momcation.” Annual – as in once a year -every year-for the past 10. In some lean years, it was my birthday and Christmas gift combined. Other years it was in the budget. But every year it’s the same ground rules…. I pack whatever makes me “happy”, I go somewhere safe, and do whatever I want (within reason) after sleep.
My friends always ask, with a tone of jealousy and disbelief, where I go. I never tell the details, because it’s not up for the grapevine. But I’ll tell you past years…. I’ve been to a bed and breakfast in a metro area, a retreat center in the Blue Ridge Mountains, a cabin in Virginia, and a little retreat center in the Ozarks called Mt. Sequoyah ($75 a night for those making a “personal retreat”).
For 10 years, it’s the same rhythm every time. After sleep, good food, and a little adventure (walk, local shop, etc.) I read, write, think – and sleep. Sometime the next day after lunch, I start to think of home – but not in a nostalgic kind of way. I think of what works and what doesn’t. I contemplate what “could be.” I dream a little for my child’s future. I consider the good in my marriage – and the things that I can change. Some years I set some quotes or Bible verses to meditate, other years it’s a focus of something specific to work on when I get back. Maybe my routine needs to change to serve me as well as the family, or I need to acknowledge growth and change in our son or our marriage. Then I take a nap.
Sure, this can feel “boring” to some. Not everyone has the same need to sleep and reflect while alone. But every mom’s “momcation” can be whatever she needs it to be. Maybe it’s personal time to reflect combined with time scrapbooking, or antiquing, or horseback riding, or tubing (yeah, going down a snowy mountain in a giant tube without worrying about where the kids are is nearly a spiritual experience). Maybe a girlfriend can come without “needing” too much. But I’ve found that “momcations” are not optional, they are essential to personal best.
Yes, it’s weird, and out of the box, and “who does that?”. Great moms do. So I hear. 🙂
Vikki Spencer is a freelance writer and mom coach based in NWArkansas. She can be found online at momwhisperer.com.
LOVE IT!!! And it’s not weird at all. Kudos to you for having a plan for it. I love my family but those precious times to step back away from them, reflect and rewind are priceless. Thanks for sharing.
As soon as I finished breastfeeding my second child, I started taking MOMcations too. I do the exact same thing – I go somewhere quiet where I can spend time doing the things I like to do, and SLEEP! I had so many friends interested in my MOMcations, that I decided to plan one for ALL the moms in Arkansas! Check it out: http://momcation.org
that sounds wonderful! I have six children his hers and ours. ours is a two year old little girl with cp. I am grateful for a full four hours of sleep at night, if i get it, because she does not sleep well.we don’t have family in the area to help so any time that i menchon that i need a vacation i get all kinds of grief from the husband. although he can take four day hunting trips twice a year i guess momcation is not supposed to be an option for me. so yes kudos to you for setting that priority on your life believe me im sill working on it. and plan to break away soon. i guess i always just felt like i was the only mom that thought about a needed getaway. im not complaining its just nice to know there are others out there.