Mamas, here are the three words you must remember: “It doesn’t matter.”
Both Shannon and I have kids in college now, and we were nodding our heads in total agreement when we read this article on the Grown & Flown website written by Allison Slater Tate, a fellow mom who is also a college counselor of high school kids and a journalist who covers college admissions issues. Those three words are what she hopes parents will remember most when they’re tempted to let all the college prep hype stress out their kid (and sometimes the whole family).
Here are a few of our favorite passages from this article:
“It doesn’t matter if they get a perfect score on the SAT or if they bomb it. It doesn’t matter if they are the valedictorian of their high school. It doesn’t matter where they go to college.
It just doesn’t matter — none of it matters — if your kid isn’t healthy.
I’m not talking about if your child is afflicted with appendicitis, lupus, or cancer, although of course, those conditions would all take precedence too. I am talking about mental health. And please, do not be fooled: Mental health is physical health.
Over the past several years, I have done a lot of reporting and analyzing why our kids are in such a dark place. I’m not a psychologist, a sociologist, or a trauma expert, but I have talked to many high school and college students from all over the country, and my not-expert opinion is this: The stakes are simply too high.
We have somehow convinced our children (and, if we are honest, ourselves) that everything in their lives matters so much there is no room for error.”
The entire article is so insightful and emotionally moving. But it’s also incredibly important that parents see this because, even as adults, it’s easy to get caught up in our kids’ march toward college. It’s easy to get on the “crazy train” of trying to make sure your kid lines up all the best classes, test scores, extra curriculars, letters of recommendation, etc., and forget to watch out for their mental and emotional health. It is STRESSFUL to be a high school kid these days and to be so afraid that they might let their parents and themselves down if they don’t perform at the top ALL the freaking time.
We hope you’ll read the article in full by clicking HERE and then pass it along to all the mama friends you love.