By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3
One of the reasons so many New Year’s resolutions fail has a lot to do with the word itself. Trust me, we writer-types know how much words matter. The right one can make all the difference. The wrong one can kill the whole line. The word “resolutions”? Nope. It’s all wrong.
“Resolute” means steadfast, fixed. It means “firmness of purpose,” unwavering and undaunted. When you’re trying to change something about yourself – particularly something big – most days you’ll feel everything except “resolute.” Most days you’ll hate the whole idea. You’ll want to jump off the wagon, embrace your vice and wallow in the muck of February failures. Resistant? Yes. Resentful? Probably. Resolute? No way.
I think we’re better off with something more practical like a 2009 To-Do List. (Notice the name has the word “do” in it, indicating it’s designed for action.) Nobody wakes up in the morning and scribbles down resolutions for the day. They write a to-do list because it means business. It’s not about ideals or goals or concepts. It’s about getting things done. Getting results. Plus, a forceful to-do list kept in a high visibility spot will absolutely haunt you. It begs to be checked or crossed off with one of those fat Sharpie pens.
I’m not at all resolute about my New Year’s To-Do List. Right now I loathe the list because it’s hard. It’s cliché, I know, but I really do want to lose at least 10 pounds by summer. But you would never have guessed that was what I wanted a couple of weeks ago when I was enjoying Christmas at my mom and dad’s house. I inhaled every piece of ham on my plate, polished off my mother’s famous desserts, sucked down as many Dr. Peppers and holiday punch as I could hold and was absolutely shameless about it for five consecutive days. It was as if I knew the cold reality of January was coming and I was walking some sort of dietary plank. And, by golly, I was going to make sure I was as guilty as possible by the time I reached the end of the line. I kept telling myself that in January I’d do better.
So here we are – in January. And the inertia of last year’s bad habits is hard to shake. I don’t feel super-motivated by the ball dropping on Times Square. I don’t feel like going to a spinning class. I don’t feel like drinking more water. I just want what I want without having to pay any consequence. I want the good results without the work. It’s silly and childish but oh-so-true for so many of us.
The truth is we are our habits. They are the actions that help define us. Smokers smoke. Drinkers drink. Yellers yell. And people who need to lose 10 or more pounds eat things they know they shouldn’t in quantities they know they shouldn’t. Simple as that.
What’s not so simple is how to change habits in a way that will really stick for the long haul. If I ever figure that one out, I’ll write a column about it from some far-away beach where I’ll be looking incredible in a bikini thanks to my newfound healthy habits. In the meantime, I can only hope human desire is stronger than bad habits. I believe we all have a vision of the kind of person we’d really like to be. Often it’s really tough to get there, but the people who want it bad enough tend to find their way. And their paths are probably as different and individual as the people on them.
What I do know is that nothing changes if we don’t start doing at least one thing differently than we did before. In the last six months of last year, I ate Fritos too frequently, drank too much Dr. Pepper, stayed up to do my work until nearly 1 a.m. and cut my hair too short in order to save time in the mornings. Then I told myself the ultimate lie – that I’d start working out when my schedule slowed down a little. (Yeah, right.)
That was me. Whether or not that continues to be me in 2009 will depend on how I manage day-to-day stress and how badly I want things to be different. Here’s my 2009 To-Do List:
1. Eat better food and smaller portions to lose 10 pounds by summer
2. Work out at least three times a week.
3. Let my hair grow longer
4. Ration Dr. Peppers to one a day
5. Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night
When I was writing my list, I included at least two things small enough to be checked off by March or April because those early successes will help fuel the rest of the journey. (I’ve already begun rationing my beloved Dr. Peppers and my hair is growing even as I type!)
Forget about being “resolved” to do anything this year. The bigger question is “What’s on your to-do list”? And when are you getting started? Good luck and Godspeed.
