On Your Mind: Bed-wetting issues

on your mind

My son just started Kindergarten and he is still having issues with bed-wetting. Are there any mental health problems that could be causing this to happen to a 6-year-old? What can we do to help?

Response by Maya Damet-Powell, LCSW and Haden Shepherd, LPE-I

This is a great question and one that comes up more often than you probably think. While this can definitely be frustrating to deal with, the good news is that your family is not alone in dealing with bed-wetting issues, even at your child’s age.

The range of ‘normal’ childhood development is actually pretty broad. Unfortunately, understanding the issues underlying the behavior can often be more complex and not as well understood.

The first step in dealing with the issue would be to set up an appointment with your child’s pediatrician. The pediatrician will be able to help determine if there are any underlying medical issues that may be contributing to the bed-wetting your child is experiencing. Assuming the doctor determines that medical concerns are not contributing to the issue, the next step would be to consider any potential stressors your child is experiencing.

Have there been any major life changes or traumatic events that may have precipitated the bed-wetting? Even things that we consider to be a typical a part of growing up, such as starting school, can be especially stressful for children.

Do you notice any anxiety around bedtime? Are there nightmares associated with the bed-wetting? If these things are occurring in excess of what you would expect to be typical for your child, then they may indicate a possible mental health issue and consulting with a mental health professional may be appropriate. Taking the time to speak with a mental health professional would help you assess your child’s situation from a knowledgeable and objective standpoint, something that can be very important when dealing with an issue that is likely causing you as a parent stress and anxiety.

As for some simple ideas you may want to try out at home, avoid giving your child liquids a couple of hours before bedtime and have your child use the bathroom immediately before crawling into bed. You may want to try setting an alarm for the middle of the night for your child to get up and use the restroom (not an easy thing to do!).

If your child experiences fear of the dark, leaving a light on or having nightlights could be helpful.

Lastly, the most important thing you can do as a parent is to be available to help your child process any difficult emotions or thoughts that might be causing your child stress. Helping to normalize and validate your child’s emotions and experiences will help reduce any stress and anxiety that may be linked to the bed-wetting.

Your child is also likely to feel frustrated or embarrassed about the bed-wetting behaviors, so showing your child patience and understanding, rather than getting angry, shaming, or making your child feel guilty, will help to defuse the tension in a stressful situation. That way, the situation can get better before it gets worse.

Therapists at Ozark Guidance would be happy to answer your questions and read what’s on your mind. Click the butterfly icon below to fill out an anonymous submission form with your question or concern. The form contains NO identifying information and is designed to give local women an online place to share concerns with a person qualified to offer feedback.

Disclaimer: This RESPONSE does not provide medical advice It is intended for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on nwaMotherlode or Ozark Guidance websites.