Military Mama: Message to my husband in Afghanistan, “It’s a … boy!”

By Jade Stone

Well a few weeks has passed and now it’s early December! I’m not sure where November went but it is definitely gone!

We were able to find out what the new baby is. We decided maybe we’d had enough surprises!

As it turns out, the outdoor plumbing was quite obvious and was declared without a doubt to be a boy! I can’t tell you how relieved I am. I was terrified it would be a girl and I wouldn’t know what to do with it!

I already have the manual written on the boy thanks to my firstborn and have a pretty good handle on how they operate. As an added plus, as my 7 year old quickly pointed out “guess what mommy, he can wear all my clothes too!” He was pretty excited about that. I think he’s just happy to not be an only child anymore. Although, I don’t think he realizes it won’t exactly come out ready to play soccer or Legos!

It was hard to find out without Jay being there but I sent him the ultrasound picture with “it’s a boy” printed neatly at the top with an arrow attached to point out the evidence. Unfortunately, his internet was down due to a plane crash so it was the next day when he got it.

I don’t think he cared what it was as long as it was healthy. I admit, I felt the same way but was still relieved to find out it was a boy! Jay’s only complaint right now is that he’s missing the “pregnant part”. I think that’s funny because most men would be thrilled to miss that part of the ride but he really seems to miss the growth and development aspect.

I’m not a fan of belly pictures because I always feel like I’m intruding into someone’s very personal space when I see them but I may have to make a concession just for him for Christmas. Maybe I can find a way to do them tastefully that leaves my face out of it. Not sure why the idea of having pictures taken of my exposed ever-growing midriff bothers me but it does. Some women say it’s empowering but quite frankly, it makes me want to run and hide! At any rate, they will at least give him a glimpse of what he’s missing (though I don’t think he’s missing much at all!).

Our next hurdle is to make a joint effort to name this kid. With him being halfway around the world it’s a little hard to actively brainstorm. So at this point, we have gotten nowhere in the name department. I don’t even have a feeling one way or another towards a name just yet. I would like something unique and descriptive of the miracle that he is but I’m not the least bit creative.  All I know is I like K and J names…Yup, I have a lot of work to do!

We are now quite a few months into the deployment with about six months to go. I think Christmas is of the hardest times for soldiers overseas because their focus turns to their families back home and all the festivities they are missing. I caught a glimpse of this feeling last Saturday at a church function watching all the couples and their children.

I was fine until I realized I was the only one who came with out a partner and it felt overwhelmingly obvious to me. Suddenly, tears were streaming down my face so quickly I couldn’t even try to hold them back. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so empty in my whole life. I am not a crier so this was highly unusual. I suppose the hormones aren’t helping matters.

But I can only imagine how hard it is for soldiers who are constantly reminded that they aren’t home and nothing about it is comforting.  To be frank, all the encouragement in the world, and all the acknowledgements that “it will not be forever” don’t seem to change the way a person feels in that situation. It just plain stinks and there’s just no getting around it. So I sat down and had a good cry. It was probably time. I had held back for so long that it all came out at once and there was simply no stopping it.

Since then I have felt much better! I should probably do that more often even though I typically don’t. Lord knows I would recommend a good cry for anyone else!

At any rate, Jay is still doing well and staying somewhat busy. He says the fighting has started to calm down because they tend to be “fair weather fighters” who typically stay inside during the winter and then come out fighting in the spring.  The thought that war would pause for a season had never occurred to me though given the mountainous terrain, I suppose it would be insane to be traversing the ranges in ice and snow. As far as I’m concerned, that’s great news!

Maybe the majority of his tour will be quiet though he assures me that there will be plenty to do keeping the Afghan Army healthy. In the meantime, I better get starting putting together a little piece of home to send over for the holidays!

Jade welcomes your comments here as well as any suggestions you may have for her future posts. You may also e-mail her at To read previous Military Mama posts, CLICK HERE.