By Jade Stone
Well, the New Year is well underway and now we begin the countdown until summer. There will be lots of changes in our very near future and there’s no time like the present to get started on them.
We now officially have an unofficial date set for Jay to leave. It appears, as of right now Jay will leave on January 26th for pre-deployment training and will tentatively leave the country in July. I know that seems a bit far off but it’s really not.
I can’t tell you how hard the waiting game has been. It feels as though we’ve been dangling on the string of life that is blowing in the government’s winds, just waiting for that one moment when the wind finally picks us up and deposits us somewhere new. We haven’t known when that would be or even where it would send us, only that when the ambiguous time comes, we would be ready.
We have spent 2 years being told “You’re gonna deploy” and for so long we’ve just been waiting. It’s that sort of limbo that is truly troublesome. As a result of this “waiting”, I have put off so many things that needed to be done in and around the house organizationally, even in maintaining my own health.
In that time we tried so hard to spend every waking moment together for fear that it would be our last and as a result, we just woke up one morning to realize the areas in our lives that in fact we have neglected. It certainly wasn’t a proud moment for me but most definitely an impactful one.
It may not seem like a major issue to put off cleaning the closet, or the garage, or even working out just to be able to do things as a family. However, 2 years of that is not a healthy practice. So, I’ve spent the last two weeks organizing my life and everything in it.
From the garage and the linen closet to the type of food in the fridge and fitness, I have decided that since Jay is leaving soon it is time to put the pieces back together and turn my household into the well-oiled machine that it was when he was gone the first time.
One of my biggest undertakings is going to be my weight. It’s no secret that weight has always been an issue in my family. However after Jess was born and Jay was deployed I managed to drop down from about a 16/18 into a relatively normal feeling size10.
Weight Watchers and I had become constant companions and in many ways something to fixate on while he was gone. Feeling more than content and satisfied with myself, when Jay came home I began to relax and became comfortable…maybe a little too comfortable.
I didn’t want to go to the gym because that was time spent away and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Additionally, in our completely unsuccessful attempts to “grow the family” I had two miscarriages in a row-one at 20 weeks and the latter at 15 weeks.
The disappointment has been immense, guilt laden with the fact that not only was I not capable of carrying a child but I had also managed to put on 20 lbs between the two. Well, weeks turned into months which then became 2 years and now, here I sit, unhappy with myself and my home because I know I am capable of doing better.
Then we got the call. For some reason, the knowledge of a specific date has truly empowered me. In two weeks, we managed to clean the garage and throw out stuff that I have been carrying around for years (for no apparent reason) as well as simplify various areas of the house that seemed to be magnets for clutter.
Feeling a little better about having organized a few aspects of my household, I decided now it is time to focus on me. So, as of last week, Weight Watchers and I are friends again and I’ve begun swimming which is something I love to do but always felt I just didn’t have time for it.
I have the right mindset at this point to be able to accomplish my goals and know that I can do it if I just focus. Working out is the perfect distraction for when Jay is gone and a healthy one too! I know it will be a slow process but it is going to be so worth it. Finally, my “weight” is over!
This is my way of making something positive out of his absence. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Feel free to hop on my band wagon and join me! It would be nice to have the company on my way back to a healthy me! Wish me luck!
*Photo credit: freefotouk via Flickr
Jade welcomes your comments here as well as any suggestions you may have for her future posts. You may also e-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org. To read previous Military Mama posts, CLICK HERE.