By Shannon Magsam, Ladybug's mama
We’re on the docking system around here. The kid, that is, not the adults. (Fallout of the Great Recession aside.)
The kidlet, a.k.a. Ladybug, has a little chart of stuff she’s supposed to do but if mom has to do this stuff, mom gets paid. More specifically, her allowance (which has been nonexistent until now, age 7) gets cut by about 25 cents or so. I was reminded of the docking system when I re-read the book 1-2-3 Magic over the weekend. The book also reminded me about how important it is to have positive interactions with your kids. What, you don’t need a book to remind you of these things? Well, lately mama’s been a big ‘ol grump. So, yes, it was good to be reminded that it’s important to have fun with your kids. Before the cold snap humbled my newly-sprung hyacinths yesterday, I took the author’s advice. We went to the park. We had ice cream. We talked. But mostly, we tapped into the one ingredient that’s missing from life when mama’s a drag: laughter. It is the best medicine, doncha know? Especially for a Debbie Downer like me. Lately.
We even laughed when mama had to dock her 25 cents this morning because she forgot to feed the dog. Well, I laughed anyway. I’m sure she’ll find it humorous later – when she’s in a therapist’s office.
“I don’t know why it made me so mad,” she’ll say with a grim smile. “It was only 25 cents!”
Do you use 1-2-3? I’ve been this “effective parenting solution” since Ladybug was about 3, I guess. It’s not really magic, but it actually works most of the time. Usually when I get to 2, she’s all “Crud. Mom really means it” and stops what she’s doing. Things like whining. Arguing when I’ve said no. Agitating the dog. Riding her bike when I’ve said it’s time to come in. When I hit number three (and I admit to often lingering a little too long after 2) she usually “takes 7" minutes in time out. I often have to escort her there. It was so funny: the other day I heard a mom speaking in Spanish to her child. Since I don’t speak Spanish (darn that French I learned in college!) I couldn’t understand much except a couple of numbers: "Oooooone." Short pause. "Twooooo."
So, back to the docking system. I let Ladybug get in on choosing the chores and making the chart, so she’s more invested in following through. It’s only been about a week, but progress, it’s being made. Most of the “chores” are things she should be doing but doesn’t do without a brow-beating. Like brushing her teeth in the morning. She.HATES.that. She also has a problem with leaving her dirty laundry all over the house like a snake shedding her annoying skin. (She’s taken to running around the house without a shirt on quite regularly.)
I’m hoping to add more honest-to-goodness chores to the list once some of these basics are ingrained. And I’ll let her help me decide what those should be. I noticed last night that she had added one more thing to the chart: dancing.
I think that’s one we should definitely do together.
