By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3
As much as I love photographs, I hate family picture day. No matter how well I plan it, no matter how much I want it to go well, it doesn’t.
Maybe the problem is I want it too much. Like many mothers, I’m a photo junkie. I’m keenly aware that these years while the kids are little are flying by way too fast. Any time I see a great photograph that freezes my kids in time, I fall in love with it. It’s a real treasure for us sentimental mommy types.
But it’s tough to get a photo of the whole family together, smiling in a nice setting devoid of Chuck E. Cheese birthday party décor in the background. To get a picture that’s worthy of wall space, you usually need to call in a professional. So that’s what I did, and she agreed to come over to our house to shoot the family portrait – just in time for Christmas cards.
In years past, I usually rounded up my husband and three kids and carted them to a studio. Getting us all dressed appropriately, in the car on time and over to the photography studio without someone spilling a juice box or jumping in a puddle along the way was nearly impossible. By the time we all got there and the camera started flashing, we’d all be fidgety and on edge. So this year I decided we’d have the photos made at home because I was sure it would be easier.
It was a really warm day, so we decided to shoot the pictures outside with our neighbor’s golden fall trees as a backdrop. I told the boys, ages 6 and 4, that “it would be fun and wouldn’t take long.” But I’d forgotten that “long” in a little boy’s mind is anything that exceeds two minutes. After those first two minutes, the boys got antsy and kept looking everywhere but the camera. So I said “Boys, look at the camera and smile.” Then they’d do a halfway glance toward the camera and say “Cheeeese!” (Note to all new parents: Do not EVER teach your babies to say “cheese” to a camera because they will never forget it and it will result in years worth of the fakest smiles you’ve ever seen on a kid. Wish someone had given me that same advice when my kids were babies.)
I really wanted these pictures to be good, so I upped the ante and transitioned from polite requests to light bribery: “Boys, if you can do a really good job during picture time, we’ll go get some ice cream as a treat when we’re all done.” But that idea backfired because then they REALLY wanted picture time to be “all done.” My 6-year-old wouldn’t stand up straight. My 4-year-old looked more at his older brother than the camera. And my nearly 2-year-old was busy cutting her molars and couldn’t keep her fingers out of her mouth. You can imagine the chaotic visual the photographer was getting through her lens.
As the kids’ patience began to wear thin, so did mine. On any other day, I let them play and goof around 98 percent of the time and all I asked was that they give me a half-hour of focused attention and smiles that don’t look like some kind of painful dental x-rays. By golly, they owed me this. In frustration, the light bribery turned to whispered threats: “Kids, if you don’t straighten up and look at this camera and smile a nice smile, then you are going to be in BIG trouble, and Santa is definitely going to find out about this. Now, you all better stand still, stop chewing your fingers and look happy right this minute!”
Thankfully, the photographer was holding it all together much better than I was. She suggested we break up the group setting and let the kids run around and play while she shot them in action. They loved that idea, and it was then that their true smiles came out and their eyes lit up the way I’d wanted them to. I can only hope that some of those running, jumping, laughing shots turn out to be the gems I’m hoping for.
So this year’s picture day was, once again, a hot mess. I’m beginning to realize I’m the one who makes it hard because every year I hope for this pretty, serene-looking family shot that’s impossible to capture, mostly because it doesn’t exist. Childhood is an action sport, and our day-to-day life raising three little kids is fast and loud and messy most of the time. It’s hard to pin something like that down on film. I guess what we really need is a fast shutter speed and the willingness to catch the smiles instead of forcing them.
Want to read more Rockwood Files? Click HERE.
