By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos
My fifteen seconds of fame was on a reality TV show getting a boob job and talking about drugs and Snoop Dogg.
If you know me at all, this should not surprise you in any way. Random, bizarre things happen to me all the time. This is sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it’s always interesting.
Here’s how it went down…
My friend was flying down to Dallas to get a breast augmentation (fancy term for a boob job, but I don’t do fancy), and asked me to go with her to help her after the surgery. This particular doctor has a 24 hour recovery for this surgery. Patients are up and moving the day of surgery and we could fly home the next day.
Of course, there’s no way I’m not going to Dallas – they have good food there, you know. In addition, I’ve always wanted boobs. Mine were like little irritated mosquito bites. I’d even had consultations before, but could never pull the trigger.
I’m pigeon-breasted, so my collar bone is pushed forward, and my rib cage is also pushed forward. My rib cage stuck out further than my boobs did. The doctor at my first consultation used the word ‘concave’ to describe my breasts. How’s that for a shot of self-esteem?
Anyway, I called to see if I could get a consultation when she had her pre-op appointment since we were already there. I could. I didn’t think anything about it, really. I just wanted to know what the doctor thought. Neither one of us wanted huge breasts. We just wanted something to fill out a bra. I was tired of feeling like a boy from the waist up. I mean, I’m 40. If I’m going to get any use out of a boob job before what little I had starting sagging toward my socks, I needed to do it soon.
We get to Dallas on a Thursday and on the way to the appointment, my friend casually mentions that this doctor and his wife are on Real Housewives of Dallas. Now…I had looked up this doctor’s site and all of that and there was no mention of this. I had watched the show and never put this together before we were about to walk into his office. I’m glad she mentioned it, because when we got to the office they were starting to film the second season and there were producers and cameras everywhere.
We go to our appointments and talk to Dr. Deuber who was SO nice and talked us through everything. He makes these measurements that determine what size is best for your body so that you’ll look natural and not like a Playboy Bunny. Exactly what my friend and I wanted – more like a full A cup than a EE.
Okay, maybe a full B.
The next day was the surgery and I talked to his amazing staff about everything surgery and Housewife related while I waited. Surprisingly, the surgery didn’t take long – maybe 45 minutes – and Dr. Deuber came out to tell my how everything went. We talked for about 30 minutes and he told me all about the surgery, the show, and his backstory. He asked about my life, what I did, and my kids. You know…just a regular conversation.
We left his office shortly after. The three of us. Me, my friend, and her new boobs. And let me tell you something…they looked fantastic.
We flew home the next day, which was a Saturday. On Monday, I got a phone call.
“Dr. Deuber would like to know if you’d be interested in getting a breast augmentation and having it filmed for his website and for Real Housewives?”
“Yes. Yes, I would.”
“Okay. I’ll send some paperwork over from Bravo.”
Did that just happen?
Yes. Yes, it did. I decided in less than 10 seconds without hesitation. I don’t know what that says about me, but I’m hoping it just says I’m a quick decision maker.
We get it scheduled, make the arrangements, and I try to wipe the now permanent smile off my hubby’s face. It doesn’t work.
We get there and almost as soon we land, we have to get to the office to film our consultation. We meet Cary, who is gorgeous and teeny, teeny tiny. I could almost put my hands around her waist, she’s so small. She’s all made up with her professional makeup and I’m just off the plane with hardly any make-up and I really have to pee.
We start filming. We have to do several takes. I’m nervous and hate cameras. There has never been one photo of me that I’ve liked. You’ve heard that phrase “the camera loves her”? Well, I must’ve ticked off Mr. Kodak a long time ago, because the camera will tolerate me, but we are not in a good place in our relationship. I try to forget this and keep going. I still have to pee.
Finally, we are done. I get to pee.
Surgery day is next. This is where I get to be filmed having a boob job on national TV with no make-up on. Every girl’s dream. They do let me put on some lip gloss. Hallelujah.
Everyone is super nice. Dr. Deuber and Cary joke around with us and Cary tells us this will be her last surgery. I feel a little honored, but maybe that’s the drugs. Cary and Mark seem to get along just fine, if you’re wondering. I don’t know how much of their marriage drama is for the show, but on this day, they seem good.
Of course, I hadn’t seen the footage until the show aired, so what do I know?
I get my drugs and float away to la la land. When I wake up, I have big boobs attached to my once concave chest. They were sore at first, but by that afternoon I was shopping and eating.
This was all a year ago, so now everything has settled and if this hadn’t been filmed for national TV, you’d never know I had anything done. They are very natural and I’m very happy with my decision.
Oh…and yes, I had to pay for the surgery, but the implants themselves were free.
That’s my 15 seconds. No calls from Hollywood yet, but I’m not giving up hope.
Visit me and my new boobs at my blog.
Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! 🙂
