Work + Life: Out of steam

By Autumn Manning, WOHM blogger

I am running out of steam. Ten more days and I get to meet Marin. Ten more days and I get to spend time with her and Miles together, our new little family. Ten more days and I get no more sleep for at least 90 days. Oh well…it comes with the territory.

I am glad this is finally the home stretch because I am not sure I have much left to give at this point, no matter how much I try to think that I can keep going and going. My typical day looks a little something like this:

Wake up around four since Marin likes to do a little jig in my stomach at that time every morning; take a shower; do something that resembles a horribly out of rhythm white-girl dance to stretch my maternity jeans/slacks on over my newly plumped up backside thanks to pregnancy; wake Miles up and beg him to lay on his bed so I can lay down sideways next to him to try to change his diaper as this is the only way I can comfortably get down that low; take Miles to school; waddle into the office with bright red, swollen hands and feet; put everyone at the office through hell with all my complaining and groaning; almost fall asleep by noon, which causes me to have to run home and nap over my lunch break; rush back to the office and work until I have to get Miles at the end of the day (unless it’s Morgan’s turn); drive home and tell Morgan we are having leftovers again; get frustrated because I am not making time to exercise anymore and complain to Morgan about how I look and feel; pass out by 9 p.m. and do it all again.

I am spent. I am ready to be “pampered” in the hospital for a couple of days. There is something wrong with me when I think labor is being pampered. Seriously, though, I am actually excited. Ha! Maybe I should listen to my body and take it easy for this last week and a half.

When we had Miles, we didn’t have any family and very few friends around in Little Rock, so we didn’t get many visitors in the hospital. I have taken advantage of the family in friends in NWA and basically have done all except send out an evite to the actual event. I am sure I will regret that when fatigue sets in, but I am so excited to share this time in my life with the people we love. Although I have been through this before, there are a lot of things that I am not sure how to take because they are kinda new for us.

For example, I had the ability to work from home when I had Miles. I didn’t have to worry about fitting into any work clothes for work meetings as I conferenced in to most of them for the first year. I didn’t have to worry about my boobs leaking all over my shirt from breastfeeding since no one saw me throughout the day. I was able to run out at lunch and work out, visit Miles at daycare, or shower.

This time will be a little different since I will be working out of the home again. We also decided to take Miles out of daycare and bring someone into our home to watch him and Marin. I am THRILLED that we found someone who loves our kids and who also fits within our budget. But of course, I am nervous since it will be so different than daycare has been. I wonder if I will be depriving Marin of the social interaction that Miles got for 2.5 years. I am more excited than nervous, though. There will be no more juggling taking kids to and from school everyday; no more worrying about a meeting at work running late if it is my day to get the kids. I think it’s going to be GREAT. Now, I just need to find a nanny-cam so I am allow my insane self to make sure my kids are treated fairly and given lots of love and attention at home.

Last time, I remember being more nervous about leaving work for a couple of months. This time, I feel a little better about it. Living in Little Rock, working out of my home last time when everyone was in an office together in NWA gave me a lot of fears and insecurities that I probably don’t have anymore since I am physically present with the rest of the team. Or, this calm might be part of growing up, realizing things handle themselves as long as you have taken care of all you can before you leave.

As the day draw nearer to us having this second child, I am equally excited and nervous. People who know me know that I have a hard time slowing down, and I pray to God every night that He gives me the strength and dedication needed to continue going at this pace, the pace I love.

With work, The MACC Initiative, and family life, I am kept up a lot of nights worrying that I will forget something or let someone/something down. But that’s when I pray and say to myself, “Other people do harder things all the time. If they can do it, why can’t I?” I also think of my husband, Morgan, who is so supportive and helps me out more than I could have ever hoped for. I hope he doesn’t grow weary and tired of the pace one day because I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon.