We wives really like to know what’s going on “Inside His Head”. So this feature is all about what guys really think. If you’ve got a question for our anonymous panel of husbands just send it to mamas@nwaMotherlode.com.
This month the question is from the nwaMotherlode mamas. We wanted our guys to give your guys some ideas, so if you’re on a budget, read their suggestions below. Then email them to your husband for inspiration.
Q: It seems like everyone’s on a tight budget these days, so help us answer this question for the thrifty guys out there: You want to plan a romantic Valentine’s Day evening, but you only have $50 to spend — including the gift. What’s your strategy?
GRAY: The first $20: FOOD
I’d make a simple, but satisfying spaghetti carbonara ($3-$6). Afterward I’d serve some fruit like strawberries or raspberries and some mild cheeses ($5-$10) to snack on. Instead of a box of chocolates filled with mystery stuff, I’d get something that actually looks good or go to a bakery and get a couple small, but special treats ($4-$10).
The second $20: ATMOSPHERE
A bottle of nice wine can be found without breaking the bank ($12-$17) and I’d use the remainder to get some candles. It’s always amazing how a meal by candlelight can be so intimate, assuming the candles are bright enough you don’t have trouble finding the food of course. I’d undoubtedly put on some appropriate music as it further enhances the intimacy; besides, I’ve never found the sound of cars passing outside romantic.
The final $10: THE GIFT
For the gift I’d try to do something special. Draw a picture, write a poem, recount a moment that was particularly meaningful to us and express how it, and her, have changed my life and who I am. And would that take $10? Nah, but getting a couple flowers never hurt anything either.
MAVERICK: My strategy is simple – remember Valentine’s Day is not about the money, it’s about the gesture.
I’d get the actual gift sorted out first.
I’d go to a florist and get a single, perfect rose in a nice bud vase (maybe ask the florist to help you find a unique color other than red). Not a single rose from Wally-World, something really special. I assume I could do this for say $20 bucks. I may be overestimating the cost of something like this but it’s a ballpark figure and should be fairly close. If there’s no bud vase available or it’s too expensive, I’d try to improvise something.
Next I would go to Wally-World and get a pound of good shrimp, some fresh corn if it can be found, and some shrimp boil. Then I’d look for some canned lobster bisque. I’d prepare this for our Valentine’s Day dinner. I figure $25 bucks for that. If I have any money left over from the rose, I’d throw in some salad. Once again, it’s nice that it’s seafood but the most important part is that I prepare it, and hopefully do the extras like set the table – the effort is the whole point.
That leaves me about $5 bucks.
I’d rent two movies for us to sit around and watch. First would be her favorite romantic film. If I don’t know this by now, well, it’s pretty clear I need to be paying closer attention. If I don’t know, I’d ask her girlfriends.
Second, I’d get one of my favorite versions of a “guy” romantic film to share with her. Now, this can’t be like Predator or Red Dawn. I’m thinking something “romantic” but not fundamentally about a guy chasing a girl. Examples could be Field of Dreams, Stand by Me (though the dead body stuff might be off-putting), or An Officer and a Gentleman (there’s girl chasing here but also basic training, kung-fu, and other fun stuff guys like). This is called sharing and communicating. Women love both.
If we both like adult beverages I’d make up whatever her drink of choice is. I’m assigning no cost to this, as I assume I’d have that sort of stuff around the house. Nothing special, but it shows I’ve been paying attention.
Finally, I’m totally out of money so I’ll write a nice note to her asking her to be my Valentine. I’d do my best to be sweet. Sex has it’s place on Valentine’s Day if you’re male, but a Valentine’s Day card is not the place to make a pass.
I’d present these items as the evening progresses. My goal is to make my Valentine feel like she’s the most special woman in the world – because she is. That’s what all the effort is supposed to show. Any schmuck can pull out a credit card and order flowers over the phone.
MAX: “Romance without finance is no good.” ~ Willie “The Lion” Smith
You are asking the wrong person this question. Not that there isn’t anything in my head, it’s just that I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, my wife does, so Feb. 14 is a bit testy at our house.
Also, what I know about romance could fit in a thimble. [Motherlode editor’s note: We asked his wife. He’s telling the truth. He doesn’t know nuthin’.] I’ve always just gotten by on my charm and good looks. [Motherlode editor’s note: No. He hasn’t.]
What I do know about women is that a good woman doesn’t care about the finance but the romance. So don’t worry if you have $5 or $50, just do something to show that you wouldn’t want to have any other woman be the woman of your life.
This is something that you should try to do at least five times a week every week. Do it more often if you have little charm and few good looks. Obviously, the question at hand is how to show that, but I’m afraid you were supposed to be paying attention throughout the year so you’d know what your woman likes, be it bowling, poetry or flowers (my wife’s favorite flower is um, crap, a blue one?) [Motherlode editor’s note: A tulip.]
For the ninth consecutive year, my wife and I will go out to a nice dinner that she calls a Valentine’s Day dinner and I call a “Just A Coincidence” dinner. At some point in the evening, I will tell her that she is the most awesome chick I’ve ever known and I’m ecstatic she’s my “Just A Coincidence Date”.
That gets me by until her birthday, which under no circumstances can I screw up after just taking her out to dinner for Valentine’s Day.
