By Kim Blakely
Wow. Oh, wow! Just wow. That’s all I could muster when I saw the screen during my very first ultrasound with this surprise baby last week.
All points during my appointment had gone from the assumption that I was barely 6 weeks pregnant, based on the date of my last menstrual period, and I was warned that we might not be able to see anything.
With Mojo and Moxie, I had those very early scans – transvaginal ones, though, so I was able to see clear pictures of little beans in sacs, flashing with every sweet heartbeat.
This time, I saw a real, honest-to-gosh face.
He was waving his arms, y’all, and appeared to be looking right at me!
If I could have added a cartoon caption, it would have read, “It’s about time you noticed me down here!!”
I had been in denial before I got that glimpse. Truly, I thought we would go to this appointment to find out there was some huge mistake, a miscalculation or a disorder that would mean there was no pregnancy after all and the baby I referred to in conversation with my friends as my “imaginary baby” really was only imaginary.
Not only is he not imaginary, he’s already over 10 weeks along, with a heart rate of about 160, which means I did have a regular (read: heavy) period well after his conception. I’ve heard of this happening, but I still can’t understand how it could. My doctor surmises that there might have been another baby, a twin, that for whatever reason didn’t make it this far.
On one hand, I’m glad I didn’t know about this pregnancy as early as I did with my others. It was unexpected, unanticipated, and therefore, that last period – that probable early loss – happened without any anxiety on my part. But on the other hand, I wish I’d been able to mourn that baby at the right time.
As sad as that makes me, I can’t help but revel in the miracle of all this.
Still, I’m making up for the lack of early angst now, worrying and handwringing about whether this Wow baby is OK. I go in for a detailed anatomical scan next week but that seems like forever away while I’m waiting to find out how he’s developing. (I’m using the generic ‘he’ here, by the way … but I do think of him as all boy. No idea why.)
Prayers and good thoughts still welcome!