By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3
I’m one of the lucky ones. My dad was always around, played with us plenty, taught us things, loved our mom and gave my brother and me the sense that – no matter what – he’d be there. I can’t even imagine how different my life would have been if that hadn’t been the case.
Even though I’m now an alleged grown-up, I still need my dad. I need him to be proud of me, tell me I’m doing the right thing, tell me things will be alright. And I feel extra safe when Dad is around. Even though he’s in his seventies now and regularly falls asleep in the recliner watching Discovery channel, I imagine he could still easily rescue me or pummel anyone who dared threaten me. It’s just a daddy thing.
Perhaps one of the best things he did was embody the kind of qualities I’d later look for in the father of my own kids. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but picking the right guy was not one of them. My husband is an incredible dad. As the kids grow, I realize more and more how much they need him, how vital it is that we’re both here playing our parts.
Often dads get a raw deal. Some people view them like they’re extra cup holders in a new car – a nice feature but not absolutely necessary. But dads are designed to give us so much more than DNA.
They provide and protect. They know when to be a playmate and they know when to be the “bad cop.” They encourage us to explore the world but also remind us when we’ve stepped outside the boundaries of what’s safe or what’s right. Certainly, mothers can do these things, too. But there’s no denying that special brand of “daddy magic” that kids naturally respond to.
And when it comes right down to it, sometimes dads just do things we moms don’t do. Last weekend, it didn’t rain on Saturday like the weatherman said it would. It was hot and sunny and beautiful and the kids were anxious to do something. In the space of time it took me to sit and re-think our plans for the day, Tom pulled together a make-shift Slip ‘n Slide in the front yard. With a plastic tarp, a sled, a bottle of Crisco oil and the water hose, he created outdoor entertainment they’re still talking about a week later. MacGyver himself would have been impressed. When the sled didn’t go quite fast enough down the tarp, Tom attached a rope to it and acted as summer sled dog over and over while the kids yelled “So cool! Let’s do it again!” Those are the kind of memories Father’s Day is made of.
There are times every week when Tom wraps his arms around one of our kids and they absolutely light up with joy. I see how deep that goes, and I “get it” a little more each time it happens. They need him desperately. He is their anchor. I am their heart.
There are some very good daddies out there today, and they deserve their due. And there are also some grandfathers, uncles, big brothers or friends who are doing all they can to help fill the void in the absence of a child’s father. For all of you, here’s wishing you a very happy Father’s Day. Don’t ever doubt how much you’re needed.
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