Inside His Head: What scares a manly man?


With Halloween coming up, we started wondering: “what scares guys the most?” Typically, guys don’t “seem” to worry but we know they do. So we asked the anonymous panel of Inside His Head husbands to tell us: What makes you lie awake at night?


GRAY: Hantavirus. Yep, that’s pretty much it. Just hantavirus.

Ok, I suppose if you twisted my arm I might admit to a few missed winks when facing The Great Unknown. You might be familiar with it, too. It has a habit of dragging itself out from under the bed and keeping me awake just as I’m about to drift off.

The Great Unknown is a many-headed beast that talks and talks and talks. Mostly it jabbers on about the usual: planning for the ever-hypothetical retirement, what projects to do for the house, how I’m going to cope with the day my daughter asks me for the car keys.haunted-house.jpg

But no matter how diverse The Great Unknown’s topics, they all revolve around how I can best take care of my family and whether there are things I can be doing, looking out for or trying to change to make things better for all of us.

Might not sound quite as scary as hantavirus, but worrying about whether the next paycheck would be better spent on retirement funds, a college savings plan or credit card bills can often be more daunting than I’d care to think about. Suppose that’s why they prevent me from getting that beauty sleep my wife keeps insisting I need. (Not sure if she’s saying I’m tired or ugly.)

So when I lie awake into the wee hours of the morning, it’s usually thoughts of what I can do to preempt problems, better our household and care for our financial well being. All I really know is if my sleep deprivation keeps making me uglier I might be able to scare The Great Unknown back under the bed and finally get a good night’s sleep.

marty3thumbnail.jpgMAX: “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” ~ German proverb

When I was in college I had a fear of snakes. One night while walking my dog, I came across dozens of baby snakes squirming on the sidewalk. So, of course, I ran shrieking … more of a manly holler… back into the fraternity house.

My loyal and true brothers poured out of the house to investigate. Turns out the squirmers were not snakes but something called nightcrawlers. I overcame my fear of snakes that night. Unfortunately I developed an overwhelming fear of being mercilessly ridiculed by my so-called friends.I also dislike my high-pitched panic cry being made fun of.

johnthumbnail1.jpgMAVERICK: Ever since I became a father, the one thing that has truly frightened me is that something could happen to my daughters.

Dopes behind the wheels of a gigantic trucks, who clearly are compensating for several things, including the inability to drive, set off my danger-sense. Idiots who treat serious machines, like four-wheelers or motorcycles, or firearms, like toys made me grind my teeth to nubs.

Now, I’m not overprotective. I feel my daughters’ best defense as a child, young woman, or adult, will be to be prepared. Not to be fearful, but to be respectful of the things and situations that can hurt her, or get her hurt. But I can’t ALWAYS protect her from oafish adults who should know better or their offspring who have never been taught to be alert or cautions in certain situations.

So, I guess, in a nutshell, fear or dumb-asses, or their spawn, known to me as future dumb-asses, keeps me awake at night.spider1.png

Now, as to scary stuff — in the spirit of Halloween — I have to go with what Vincent Price said many years ago when commenting on a scene in an old movie where he pushed his way through a hallway full of spider-webs. No spiders, just the webs. Super thick and sticky webs.

He said he knew every man in the theater would be extremely frightened by the scene. Price was asked why and replied: “Men are terrified of spider-webs. To women, it just means you’re a bad housekeeper.”