Teens & Tweens: Confessions from a recovered ‘college snob’ parent

For high school seniors and juniors, October is a big month. The seniors are getting their college applications ready to send, and the juniors are taking college tours and trying like crazy to make sure they’re getting good grades, taking AP tests or doing more extracurriculars. It’s a LOT of work and worry — for the kids and for their parents.

As moms who have already lived through this phase of parenting, we are begging you not to fall into the trap of thinking that your kid MUST make it into a certain school and that, if they don’t get in, it’ll be devastating for their future. If you do that, it’s just going to make you, your kid, and the atmosphere at your home incredibly tense.

You’ve only got less than a year with your kid at home. Don’t waste that time being tied up in knots about college applications.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Your attitude as the parent can completely change the tone of this experience. It can also help your overachieving, ambitious student realize that things are going to be okay, regardless of which schools accept or reject them. Their identify and their life will NOT be defined by this one decision.

We loved this article we read recently on the Grown & Flown website: True Confessions from a Recovered ‘College Snob’ Parent. Read it and soak up the wisdom, mamas. Here’s one of our favorite excerpts from the essay:

“In hindsight, I can now plainly see and fully understand that a degree from a highly selective university guarantees nothing. 
Attending one of those schools will place your child in proximity to highly regarded faculty members and other students who excelled at the unfair “game” of college admissions. In reality, that ensures zero success. In fact, it can make some kids feel intimidated and begin to experience imposter syndrome when they don’t reach the same level of success in college that they achieved in high school. 

You’ll hear this repeatedly now because it’s the absolute truth. It does not matter where your child goes to college – their success will stem from their behavior once they are there. Grit, hard work, self-discipline, having an open mind, being flexible, and seeking out mentors will determine their path. “

~ Anonymous parent, Grown & Flown website

Keep reminding your kid and yourselves that the experience your kid has in college as well as the effort they put into it is what will make the biggest difference in their future — NOT the zip code or “brand” of the college campus.

Data shows that the majority of leaders at major American corporations did NOT attend Ivy League schools. Most of them graduated from public universities or regional state colleges. Keep that in mind as you feel your own stress level rising, and make sure your student knows the facts, too.