All Akimbo: Breastfeeding in public

By Kim Blakely, mama to Mojo and Moxie

Hey, I don’t want to get into the pros and cons or go on a “breast is best” campaign, and I’m certainly not going to judge you if you, for whatever reason, choose to go the formula route, but I am definitely, without a doubt, a breastfeeding advocate.

So, what about nursing in public?

I’m all for it, as long as it’s not me doing the public nursing.

It’s just something I’ve never gotten completely comfortable with.

Oh, I’ve done it more than a few times, and I’m sure I’ll do it again before Moxie is ready to give up the boob. But as much as I support the right to do it, I almost always find myself looking around for a private spot when I’m out and about at feeding time.

My tentative approach to nursing with a potential audience has nothing to do with my conviction to breastfeed.

I knew I wanted to nurse Mojo – or at least I was pretty sure I wanted to – well before he arrived. (As I sat in those breastfeeding classes before he was born I had some squeamish moments as I considered the prospect.)

He took to it like a champ, nursing on his own just minutes after my c-section. I remember watching this tiny, brand new baby opening his mouth wide and latching on – it was the most natural thing in the world and yet to me, it was magical. Any doubt I had about whether I could or should breastfeed faded into thin air in a millisecond. Any doubt I had about motherhood – that phase of it, anyway – melted away in that moment, too.

He nursed a LOT, and I was fine with that – especially once my poor cracked, sore nipples got used to their new role, because it gave me plenty of time to admire him, to gaze into his eyes and hold his hands and just cuddle. There were times that I remember nursing him in those early weeks for what felt like 24 hours straight, although I’m sure there were 10-15 minute breaks built in there somewhere.

There were a few challenges when I went back to work at the end of my maternity leave, but they really only strengthened my resolve and I think the way I handled them might have benefited nursing moms who came after me.

I’ve breastfed Moxie from the beginning, too, and at almost nine months there is no end in sight (I hope). She’s not quite as enthusiastic an eater as her brother was, though she can certainly hold her own.

I’m mostly at home with my kids now, but over the years, I’ve had to express breast milk while away on work assignments, usually sitting with my pump tucked under my shirt in the front seat of my car, right in the middle of a busy parking lot. No one was the wiser.

I’m proud of my body’s ability to provide everything my babies need in the first six months of life, and almost everything they need for the first year. I’m amazed by the way it all works – the way we exchange antibodies and help keep each other healthy through nursing, the way my body just knows what nutrients they need and when and offer it up, the way it knows that, for whatever reason, a boy baby needs milk with more calories than a girl baby …

I guess modesty is part of the reason I’m more likely to retreat to a back bedroom at a friend or relative’s house, a dressing room in a store, or the illusion of privacy in my car when it’s time to nurse.

But maybe it’s just that I don’t want to risk having anyone taint the experience for me. I guess I feel like, for me, not everything that’s natural is meant to be shared with the world. I think it’s mostly that I’m being selfish, keeping it all to myself and enjoying the special time with my babies, away from prying eyes and ignoramuses who might make me feel even the slightest bit like I need to debate the issue.

Does that mean I’m hiding? I don’t see it that way.

I’m ready and willing to fight for the right, if need be.  I’m as likely, though, to stand up for your rights as I am for my own on this issue.

Kim Blakely is mom to baby girl “Moxie” and 5-year-old “Mojo”. She’s also a freelance writer who works from home. To read previous All Akimbo posts, click here!