Hey mamas. This is where it all started for me. Twelve years ago I managed to talk my editor into letting me write my own newspaper column. I was only 23 years old. Boy, what was he thinking? But I sure am glad he gave me the chance because the column has become a big part of my life. It has given me the opportunity to connect with readers in my own community and beyond, thanks to the magic of e-mail. The column runs in a few newspapers in Arkansas and Missouri and a few of the pieces have appeared in the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series.
I’ve compiled a few of my favorite columns on this page. Some are recent and some are oldies but goodies. If you’re in the mood for a love story, check out the Valentine’s column. If you’re a dog lover, click on “Good Dogs.” If you’re having one of “those days,” you’ll want to read “Isolation Booth.” If you’re potty-training a kid, then you can commiserate with me by reading “Naked Nuggets.” And if you’re feeling embarrassed about something stupid you did recently, then you must read “Laid an Egg” because you will feel infinitely better about yourself after you read it. I promise that whatever you might have done is not even a half as humiliating as what I did. Guaranteed.
If you like what you see, drop me a note. It’s always a pleasure to hear from fellow mamas.
A few Rockwood Files
Me: “Because I have to go have my picture made for a work project.”
really put on make-up because I like it? Do I believe I can be “pretty and shiny” without it? Why do men get to be handsome without mascara yet most women feel naked when we leave the house without it?
There was a time I wouldn’t have even gone to the grocery store without first doing my hair and make-up. But these days I can do it without much angst – not because I don’t care about myself but because I now care less about what other people might think. That’s not to say that other people’s opinions don’t matter because they often do. It just means that I’m old enough to realize that people are far too busy with their own lives to spend much brain energy wondering why I didn’t have make-up on that day.
specified by the kids’ school. It was supposed to have pockets and metal prongs to hold the paper inside. But all the smart parents who’d planned ahead had already bought all the red folders with metal prongs, leaving me with boxes and boxes of no-prong folders to sift through in shame. I and my fellow procrastinators searched through the leftovers hoping perhaps one or two pronged folders would magically surface.
Leaving the house with a baby and no backup baby outfit: When you make this mistake, cruel fate will step in and give your baby a terrible poopy diaper “blow-out” which will inevitably travel all the way up the baby’s back and between his small shoulder blades, soaking through his clothes and onto yours.
visit to the world’s largest Spam museum where one can see “16,500 square feet of Spam artifacts, history and fun”.
Keep in mind that this trip is 631 miles and should take about 9 hours and 40 minutes if you never stop. But when you’re in a minivan with three little kids, the adjusted drive time for this trip is about two weeks of interstate purgatory, give or take a few days.
of quarters at the beginning of the trip. The “Car Coins” are theirs to keep as long as they have good behavior in the car. If they whine, argue, fight, or otherwise mess up along the way, they must give you one or two quarters for each infraction, (depending on just how much it ticked you off). At the end of the trip, they keep the remaining quarters.
