By Shannon Magsam

My husband and I have some of the best conversations while we’re driving. There’s just something about being trapped in a car together to get you to Talksville.

On one long trip to Texas while we were dating, I made up scenarios about our future life together (God forbid on pretty much all of them) and asked him to share his reaction. For example:

“We have just caught our daughter climbing out her bedroom window at age 13. What do you say to her?�

“Our 16-year-old daughter is caught shoplifting. What’s her punishment at home?�

“Our 10-year-old son gets into a fist-fight at school. How would you handle that as the dad?�

The truth is, I love asking “deep� questions and finding out what people really think about things. I once thought I’d like to be a counselor, but never followed that path. Instead, I just torture friends and family with my endless questions.

The other day my husband and I were driving home from dinner and I started asking him to name songs for certain categories that I was making up as we drove along. I named mine as well. Here were my answers. I’d love to hear yours! (This isn’t TOO deep, now).

Song you play when you’re sad and want to wallow: Two out of three ain’t bad, Meatloaf

Song that always take you straight back to your youth within the first three notes: The time of my life, Dirty Dancing

Song that always makes you want to dance: What I like about you, The Romantics

Saddest.Song.Ever: Wildfire (from my tween horse phase). When I was pretty young my older cousin played Ode to Billie Joe over and over and I thought that was terribly sad, too.

Song that never fails to lift you out of a funk: Walking on Sunshine, Katrina & the Waves

Song that makes you LOL: The most beautiful girl [in the room ], Flight of the Chonchords

Song that fills you with romance: Faithfully, Journey (Also Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton)

Song that represents convertibles and freedom: Sister Christian, Night Ranger

Best break-up song: Could Have Been So Beautiful, Tiffany

Song you hate to admit you like: Wild Thing, The Troggs

Song that makes you think of being a mom: In My Daughter’s Eyes, Martina McBride

Shannon Magsam is mom to 8-year-old Ladybug, married to Ladybug’s dad, John, and co-creator of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of Life With Ladybug, click here. Leave a comment if you’re so inclined. I’d love to hear your deep thoughts!

By Shannon Magsam

I had lunch last week with my first husband. We sat in a booth at Chick-fil-A and talked about how much time had passed since we last saw each other.

We reminisced fondly about our wedding day. It was during the Fall Festival at our elementary school. We were in the fifth grade and had decided to make our way to the “marriage booth”. At the end of the ceremony, when they said “You can kiss the bride” he kissed me on the hand. The idea of kissing my cheek disgusted him.

Several decades later we find this downright hilarious. The other diners at Chick-fil-A probably thought we were a little nuts what with all the bursts of laughter. Agreed.

I met Tim, my first “husband”, the first day of kindergarten. He walked up to me, took my hand and asked if I’d like to play. Awwww. We were friends all the way to the graduation cap toss.

Well, still are, I guess. We just hadn’t seen each other much through the years. Now he’s working in Northwest Arkansas.

After our chicken lunch the other day, Tim went home and looked for our old marriage license. He couldn’t find it, but did uncover all kinds of hilarious artifacts from our elementary days, including a poem I’d written to him at age 10 (astonishing that I ever became a professional writer). Here it is, in all its creative splendor:

He also found the first play he ever wrote and the first one I ever starred in. It was also in the fifth grade and entitled “Magic Mall.” I apparently played the critical role of Suzie Q. Doll.

We were also known for singing together — in front of our whole classroom. The group consisted of three girls and one Tim. Lucky guy.

It’s good to have a friend who has known you so long. And potentially embarrassing, depending on how much more digging he does into the long-lost “80s file”.

By Shannon Magsam

At the library the other day, I was looking for an article in Time Magaine about only children (since I’ve got one, I’m always drawn to conversations on the topic) when the headline splashed across another magazine cover caught my eye.

It said: “I love my children. I hate my life�.

You can see why I was intrigued. The story focuses on how parents’ “happy� quotient isn’t necessarily raised after they have kids. That they are, in fact, less happy than their non-parent counterparts.

Some of you may have seen the article’s author on the Today show recently. I read the article in New York Magazine first, then, when I mentioned it to my husband over the weekend, he asked if I’d seen author Jennifer Senior on the show. Since I hadn’t, I went to find the interview online.

But the comments on the Today show’s website were the most interesting find. So many of the commenters had chosen not to have kids or wished they hadn’t.

I can sympathize with those who may not have found parenting to be the most satisfying experience. But I can’t quite comprehend it. Admittedly, motherhood came at the exact right time in my life. It wasn’t a surprise pregnancy  (we were very much “trying�), I was married to a man I adore and I had some maturity under my belt. And I had mostly realistic expectations.

Of course, nothing can prepare you for the whirlwind that is parenthood. Your kids might not have the personality you expected, health concerns you never could have anticipated, temper tantrums from Hades. But nothing can prepare you for the joy, either. You can imagine what it will feel like to have tiny little arms wrap around you and squeeze tight, but the reality is much, much better.

On the other hand, the “lows� can be low-lier than you can imagine, too.

But, all told, I can definitely say my life is better, happier, fuller than before I had a child. I think the important things that have made it more positive than negative are: having good friends around me who weren’t afraid to discuss heavy issues;  having a husband who shared with me the feeling of ‘we’re in this together’; having done many of the things I wanted to do before the responsibility of a child eliminated certain life choices; and being able to continue my work while simultaneously staying home with my daughter.

I don’t mean to simplify things. Parenting is amazing, scary, tiring, fun, perplexing, defeating, uplifting, unselfish. And that only scratches the surface. But I can say without hesitation that I’m definitely happier.

Are you?

By Shannon Magsam

My frequent trips to Dr. Google’s private office started when I was pregnant with Ladybug.

I could visit him day or night, no restrictions. Most often I chose the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep and my mind wouldn’t get quiet.

My OB eventually banned me from the Internet. Well, he tried. I didn’t stop surfing pregnancy symptoms, but I did remember to leave off “This one lady who was five months pregnant wrote that she� before asking him about the next potential problem.

After Ladybug arrived I could then Google all of her symptoms, too. And then freak out accordingly.

Well, last night, the Googling started after I inserted the NuvaRing. For those of you unfamiliar, that’s a monthly “birth control option� that basically involves shoving a large ponytail holder-looking device into your nether regions.

I’d been having some nether regions/hormonal issues and my gyno thought the NuvaRing might be the ticket to sorting stuff out down there.

I’d been hesitant to use it because I can NOT take birth control pills. They make me as sick as I was when I was pregnant with Ladybug. But after two months of seeing the NuvaRing sample loiter in my refrigerator (where the instructions said to store it) I decided last night to bite the bullet, take the plunge, go for it.

The good news is that I’m not puking yet.

The bad news is I could soon be experiencing the following side effects, according to a comment thread I found by consulting with Dr. Google: blood clots, heavy discharge, horrific weight gain, hair loss, plummeting sex drive, frequent break-through bleeding and a trip to the crazy house.

Let’s also not forget those frequently-asked-questions like “Could it get lost in there?” and “Will NuvaRing fall out?”

I kept my husband up ‘til 1 a.m. talking about what could go wrong. I gave him instructions in the event of my untimely death (mostly involving Ladybug, though I reminded him that remarrying is not an option lest he hopes to be haunted from the grave).

While I was decidedly unreasonable (why did I do this at night when I was already exhausted and irritable anyway?) John was level-headed and said the following:

“It’s simple. Just sleep on it. If it still bothers you in the morning, you can take it out.�

Then he added with an evil grin: “If you survive.�

Thanks, honey.

In the middle of the night, I started bleeding some. I think that’s normal, but I’ll probably call the nurse today just to be sure.  So far it feels like I’m wearing a tampon and I can’t get past the fact that I’m so aware that it’s in there.

John said he bets I’ll get used to it soon like he did with the contacts he wears. Maybe.

In the meantime, everyone help me be on the lookout for those rogue mood swings. What are you looking at, anyway?!

Shannon Magsam is mom to 8-year-old Ladybug, married to Ladybug’s dad, John, and co-creator of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of Life With Ladybug, click here. Leave a comment if you’re so inclined. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the NuvaRing or any other little thing on your mind. JUST LEAVE A COMMENT ALREADY!!!