By Shannon Magsam, married 10 years to the same sweet guy

Lingerie? Check. Presents centered around his ‘10 favorite things’? Check. The I’m-so-ready-for-a-weekend-alone-with-my-husband good mood? Check.

I thought I had everything I needed for our 10th anniversary weekend until I started getting ready for dinner that first night. Extra clothes? Uncheck. Darnit! I almost got bent out of shape, but then I realized that A) The Mt. Magazine Lodge restaurant isn’t black-tie only or anything, and B) The lack of choices just fit right in with the simplicity theme of our weekend plans.

So I just threw on some red lipstick and a red scarf for “pretty” and called it good. And it was.

We had so much fun. Not in the on-our-honeymoon-in-the-Bahamas way, or the viva-Las-Vegas way, but in a holding-hands-while-taking-long-walks, eat-chocolate-in-the-bed-together-while-watching-movies getting reconnected kind of way.

We both love to read and it was simply decadent to snuggle up next to each other in comfy chairs overlooking Blue Mountain Lake while indulging our inner bookworms. My pick was non-fiction essays and his was a book on chivalry that I’d given him as one of his ‘10 favorite things’.  (Here’s an aerial view of the lodge and cabins from the Mt. Magazine website. Gorgeous.)

Speaking of his ‘10 Favorite Things’ — in honor of our 10th anniversary, of course — I highly recommend trying it for your next big-number anniversary. It was super fun going around town picking out the presents. I doled out the goodies all weekend. They ranged from small things like his favorite candy to a nice new backpack for weekend trips.

Since he’s a lover of words, too, I also wrote him a letter sharing my “Top 10 favorite things about you”.

On Saturday we broke from our romantic mountain pursuits to drive into Paris, the little town about 20 miles from Mt. Magazine. Now we can forever tell each other in corny voices, “We’ll always have Paris.”

Getting back to reality after our 10th anniversary weekend has proved difficult. I still like to close my eyes and imagine we’re back on the “island in the sky”. Time on a mountaintop can help any marriage weather those potential “valleys”.

Shannon Magsam is mom to 8-year-old Ladybug, married to Ladybug’s aforementioned awesome dad, John, and co-creator of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of Life With Ladybug, click here. Leave a comment if the mood strikes. 

By Shannon Magsam

John calls from work and I’m editing a story on my computer. He asks after me and I tell him I’m fine, fine.  He asks, “What was that noise?� Oh, I just smashed down the trash so I could fit more in – that was an old squeaky toy of the dog’s that I threw away, I explain.

He asks another question and I distractedly answer. Now I’m unloading the dryer. It seems like he wants to keep talking, but instead says he’ll talk to me later and we hang up. We forget to say I love you. We rarely forget.

Later, after my daughter is home from school and doing her homework at the kitchen table, I sit across from her doing my own homework on the laptop. She asks about medians in math. I get up, read the instructions with her, wind her back up again and go sit back down.

Two minutes later she mentions something that happened in the lunchroom. Her friends called her food yucky. I can see part of her head over the computer and I look across at her. “Well, if you like it, just tell them everybody likes different kinds of food,� I say, then continue typing.

When I look up next, she’s gone to play in her room. I’m left with the feeling that maybe she had more to say about the lunchroom episode, but I didn’t bother to ask any questions.

My sister calls that evening and we start to chat. I’m folding the laundry that I never got around to this morning and the phone is in the crook of my neck again. I’m unloading the dishwasher when she says she’s having a problem with her daughter, who’s the same age as Ladybug. She wants my opinion.

The t.v. is loud and Ladybug is calling out to me from her bathwater. I feel frazzled. I have to ask my sister to repeat what she just said, not because of the noise, but because I was concentrating on whether the silverware was really clean or not.

I tell my sister to hang on, I take Ladybug the shampoo, tell my husband to listen for her, and get back on the phone. I try to be a person who learns from lessons, especially those that are so fresh.

I take the phone into the bedroom and close the door. I sit on the bed and hold it to my ear with my hand. I don’t do anything, except listen. Really listen.

In bed that night, I think about how women are so “good� at multitasking. How we feel more productive when we’re accomplishing more than two things at once. And how that good feeling can turn bad when we realize the people in our lives are rarely receiving our complete focus. And they deserve it.

My 10^th anniversary weekend is coming up and I’ve vowed: no computer, no phones, no distractions. Oh, and no multitasking.

Shannon Magsam is mom to 8-year-old Ladybug, married to Ladybug’s dad, John, and co-creator of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of Life With Ladybug, click here. Oh, and leave a comment if you’re in the mood. 

By Shannon Magsam, Ladybug’s mama

OK, so I don’t regularly make a habit out of cursing in front of small children. I don’t regularly make a habit out of cursing out loud, period (it’s something I struggle with in my head; I worked in a newsroom for years, after all).

BUT. I dropped a chicken nugget on the kitchen floor and I was so angry I spat the “d-it� word under my breath. I then realized with horror that I’d said it in front of my daughter and her play date. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to hear, just kept right on licking their ice cream cones and chatting about music class at school that day.

Can I give you some background about that nugget and the carbs it represents? You see, I’ve been on a no-carb, no sugar, no white foods, no fun – I won’t say diet, because we don’t say that around here, remember? – “lifestyle changeâ€� for about two weeks. Ladybug isn’t aware of this alternate lifestyle because she sees me munching down plenty on healthy foods – like nuts, fruit and eggs, things she likes — and I don’t say stuff like “I can’t have thatâ€� or “That’s badâ€�. I keep it to myself (well, I’ve occasionally explained to my husband in clipped tones why I just might be a little snippy).

But I have started dreaming about pizza, doughnuts, cinnamon toast and full-fat Ranch dressing. I have continued fantasizing about sugary, carbohydrate-crammed foods while driving down the road or taking a shower. When my mind wanders, it travels to lands dotted with lightly-breaded chicken drumsticks for trees, Doritos for kites, chocolate fountains a-flowing and Kobe’s shrimp fried rice for snow.

So the chicken nugget was supposed to be a cheat. I had snagged it from the girls’ Happy Meal and was going to indulge in some BAD food. Just one. But then I dropped my precious and it felt like one of those moments where you float out of your body and see yourself screaming “NOOOOOO� in slow motion below while scrambling to catch the nugget before it hits the floor. Only you don’t succeed and the nugget hits the floor anyway with a thud. And I don’t really implement the 5-second rule when this kitchen floor is in such dire need of a sweep.

It certainly wasn’t worth cussing over, but you can understand my annoyance, no?

Of course, no one has a gun to my head to stay on this modified South Beach lifestyle (I’m eating fruit, remember?) but I really want to lose some belly fat and become more fit. I could take the slow route and just watch what I eat and exercise, but this route is faster. And I’m an impatient woman.

No lie, I weigh about as much as I did when I was six months’ pregnant. I know it’s not about what the scale says, but I don’t feel healthy. I want to turn back the clock a little, then I can go with “moderationâ€� and occasionally have my favorites. I just know myself and if I say I can have a little sugar, it turns into a lot. So saying none at all works better for me right now. Otherwise, it’s a slippery slope straight down a caramel-coated slide and into a pool of half-melted Braum’s peanut butter hot fudge sundae.

And do you know what’s sitting outside in the back of my recalled Rav4? Girl Scout Cookies. That I ordered pre-“crazy lifestyle change�.

$%@!

Shannon Magsam is mom to 8-year-old Ladybug, married to Ladybug’s dad, John, and co-creator of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of Life With Ladybug, click here. Comments welcome!

By Shannon Magsam, Ladybug’s mama

This week was all about pillows at the Magsam household. I got a new Pier 1 pillow from the spring collection and Ladybug got a new “Pillow Pet” for her birthday. I really didn’t want to add one more stuffed toy to her menagerie, but her heart was set on getting on of those. A good reason to stick to videos and keep those impressionable little ears away from TV ads.

“It’s machine washable!” she tried to sell me with the enthusiasm of a television hawker.

So I caved and got her this unicorn:

I got myself a pillow, too.

I have a great affection for birds these days. They’re a big part of the decor in in my newly-decorated bedroom and now I’ve added a splash of color in my living room. It’s a vintage embroidered pretty:

Much of the extended family is converging on Northwest Arkansas tomorrow to celebrate Ladybug’s eighth birthday. We’ll skate, eat cake and then — as has become the tradition — go eat at the Catfish Hole.

We’ll have extra pillows for all!