By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3

I remember being a kid and wondering why my mother was never as giddy about the approach of Christmas as my brother and I were. During the weeks leading up to the holiday, she was just a blur of wrapping paper and Scotch tape, rushing here and there doing – well, I don’t know – Mom stuff. She definitely wasn’t a grinch, but her mood was not a lot of “fa, la, la, la, la” either. Didn’t she realize it was Christmas – the “most wonderful time of the year”?

It’s been a couple of decades since then, and now I – mother of three kids under the age of 8 – can say without hesitation that I just didn’t get it back then. My mother was keenly aware it was nearly time for Christmas. In fact, we moms can always hear the deafening “tick, tick, tick” of the clock, counting down to December 25th. And there’s just so much to do.

What a few years and a few kids have taught me is that Christmas can become a pretty big production. Every big production needs a director, and moms usually end up in that chair. But there’s no time to sit down because there’s shopping to do, gifts to wrap, family photos to shoot, lights to string, holiday cards to send, parties to attend, school plays to watch, church concerts to hear, meals to make, laundry to fold, carpool to drive, and on and on. December can be downright exhausting.

I was having lunch with a fellow mom today who said she’s a little sad because the holidays are about to be over. I’m a little sad about it, too, and I think it’s because there’s not enough time to enjoy it. I’ve been so busy sprinting up to the finish line that I forgot to enjoy the run. It’s a shame, really, because Christmas is supposed to be about more than the myriad of details that go into it.

We mothers (and dads, too) are so good at cueing the traditions and orchestrating the pageantry of Christmas that we really run the risk of missing out on it altogether. Sometimes multi-tasking can be a curse because what we need most this time of year is to be in the moment. We’re so used to looking ahead and getting on to the next thing on our list that it’s hard to just “be” – to look around and say “Yep, this is good.”

The other day I had one of those moments, and it helped me get out of my rush-rush holiday funk. I’d just picked up 2-year-old Kate from a play date and we were walking out to our van to go home. It was a sunny but cold December day, and I had a million things waiting to be done at home. I looked over at my little girl, who was all zipped up in her puffy, powder pink coat with a fur-trimmed hood that frames her face. She smiled the sweetest, simplest smile and looked up at the sky. I looked up at it, too, and closed my eyes so I could try to memorize her face in that moment and how wonderful it feels to have her warm little hand in mine when we’re walking together. That moment – that’s what Christmas should always feel like: love, peace, blessing, wonder, gratitude and hope.

If you, like me, find yourself working furiously behind the scenes to pull off a big holiday production, be sure you stop long enough to appreciate it, to honor the meaning of the holiday. Because the truth is that, in a few days, the wrapping paper will be crumpled at the bottom of a Hefty bag. The Christmas cookies will be morphing into fat cells. The new will wear off the toys, and January will get here before we’re ready. But before that happens, we have this day, this moment. We have the chance to slow down and just “be”. We have the opportunity to cherish the people we love, to memorize their smiles, to hold somebody’s hand, and to thank God for the chance to do it.

From my family to yours, have a very blessed Christmas.

By Erin, adopting mama blogger

A – Adoption — the topic of this blog. There is nothing to report – we have been officially waiting for seven months now. I never thought it would take this long, but I know that this is not THAT long in the scheme of things. I am hopeful we will bring Shlomo home soon!

B – Baths — long, hot baths with lots of lavender oil. Bliss

C – (1) Camp fires – sitting by a camp fire on a chilly, dark evening – watching the flames, singing some songs, drinking some drinks . . . (2) Coffee – one of my greatest pleasures – the only real reason I get up in the morning!

D – “Damn it” – Isaac’s first curse word – no, really. Yes, our son learned it from me and even brought it out for his teacher at school! Great, huh? Don’t worry, now he knows that it’s not a nice word, and finds it appropriate to tell us that, “I can’t say damn it.”

E – Enough – this will be my last meme for a long time – I promise!

F – Facebook – my new online addiction. I started using it for work, and now can’t get enough!

G – Gum — I used to chew gum daily – loved it, was obsessed with having it in my purse at all times. Then, last year, I got a temporary crown and could not chew it anymore. I missed it for about one week and have not chewed it since. Now, I notice people chomping away on gum all of the time, and I am shocked by how crude it looks!

H – Hanukkah — The holiday that we celebrate this time of year. How do you spell this anyway? Hanukah, Chanukah, Hanukkah . . . it’s a conundrum.

I – Isaac — my darling, three-year-old son – the light of my life. Enough said.

J – Junk – we plan to do a massive cleaning over our winter break. We will start in the back of the house, vacuum cleaner, trash bag, and donation bag in hand, and work our way forward. We will clean out all of the JUNK! I have done a smaller version of this at least five times in the last three years, but it seems to never last for long!

K – Kleen Kanteen – Have you gotten a non-plastic reusable water bottle yet? This brand is the best! We had Siggs before, but we like our KK’s much better – they even come in a sippy cup version! I take mine everywhere.

L – laughable – this list.

M — Matzo Ball Soup — take homemade chicken noodle soup, than turn it up a notch — fluffy little dumplings, floating in a wonderfully savory and salty broth. My ultimate comfort food – I could eat it every day. Especially when Michael makes it.

N – Noodles – Asian style noodles in a yummy broth – another one of my comfort foods. Yum! Like soup?

O – (1) Osegueras — the best Mexican food in town – we eat here at least once every two weeks. If you have not tried the tortilla soup, you must! (2) Obama – I was late to the Obama “party” because I have always been a hard-core Hillary fan. I was sad when she did not get the nomination. THEN, I really LISTENED to him speak at the Democratic National Convention. OH MY GOD – I was hooked – I love him, and I am so excited for our country right now!

P – (1) Pointless – this list is turning out to be pretty pointless, sorry. (2) Presents – Hanukkah presents that I can’t wait to give Isaac – play kitchen, enormous truck/crane combo, books, books, books . . . Present I would like to receive – a new baby – not likely!

Q – Queenie. Remember that car game where you take each letter of the alphabet and come up with a name, a city, and a “thing.” For example, “A, my name is Andy, I live in Austin, and I like to eat apples.” My dad ALWAYS got Q. He ALWAYS said, “Q, my name is Queenie . . . “ Queenie – is that really a name?

R – Reading. What would I do without it? I am an avid reader – from chick lit, to literary fiction, from memoirs, to non-fiction essay type works, to my favorite magazine, “Mother Earth News”, you can always find me with at least one book or magazine in the works.

S – Shlomo – the nickname of the baby we hope to bring home soon. Come on, Shlomo , we are waiting for you!

T – “This time in 2005” – On December 27, 2005, after 99 days in the hospital, we brought Isaac home for the first time. I am always nostalgic during these months. December was a great month, though. Isaac was growing, learning to eat, coming off of his oxygen, wearing his cute little outfits, and becoming a “real” baby. We were SO ready for him to come home, and we enjoyed every moment in the hospital. This will be posted on 19th – we were eight days away from bringing our little boy home! Hopefully, we are almost as close to bringing our NEXT baby home!

U – Underwear – trying to get Isaac potty trained and wearing “big boy underwear” all of the time. He is not interested still at 3 years and 3 months – I AM interested – how will this work?

V – Vacation – I need one. I am getting ready for two weeks off of work, but that’s not a “real” vacation. I have not been on a real vacation since we went skiing in Colorado the winter after we moved to Fayetteville – that was January, 2005. Before that, was our honeymoon in Costa Rica in October, 2001. We seem to travel – to Dallas to see family, to Denver to see family – I want to go on a vacation that does not involve visiting family!

W – Willie Nelson– One of my all-time favorite musicians. Love him.

X – Xmas – I hate this term, and I don’t even celebrate Christmas. Is it that hard to write the WHOLE word?

Y – Yoga – the exercise and relaxation program that I love, and have started doing again recently. I actually crave and look forward to going to yoga or finding the time to do it at home – wow!

Z – Zoos – I am not a fan of zoos. Really good zoos – understandable and good for helping us learn about animals and keep certain species safe. Really bad zoos — hard to stomach. Animals behind bars? Makes me weep.

There you go. Me, from A to Z – fun, huh? I think I have worn out my use of these types of memes. Come 2009 – my blog resolution? NO MORE MEMES!

Happy Holidays all – here is to a happy, healthy, prosperous new year for us all!

By Kim Blakely, Mojo’s conflicted mama

This may come as a surprise, but … I’m feeling conflicted.

Even if you’re not surprised, I am.

For two and a half years I thought I would be thrilled to get a positive pregnancy test. And I was … except that I was worried about whether the pregnancy would stick.

And then I thought I would be thrilled to get through the first ultrasound and know that there was actually a baby growing – and growing in the right place.

And I was … except that I wondered if the baby would keep growing through those critical first few weeks.

I held my breath through the second scan at about eight weeks, and then through my first ob/gyn appointment a couple of weeks later, and finally through the nuchal translucency scan at 12 weeks. All went well, and I even got a call from the perinatologist’s office last week about the accompanying blood screen, which also looks decent.

And yet, I feel like I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I know any number of things could still go wrong, dashing my hopes of adding to our family. I want so badly to have this baby, safe and sound in our home. I love her/him already … even though I still have trouble believing that she/he is truly coming just yet.

At the same time, I worry about what I might be taking away by adding another baby. I look at Mojo and I find myself thinking: “What have I done?! You’re changing his life forever! He’ll hate you for this!”

Now I wait for the big ultrasound in early January, and I tell myself that once that’s behind me this pregnancy will feel more real and I can start to adjust to the idea of being a family of four and that I can finally align all these feelings into one positive, heartfelt and all-encompassing rush.

Maybe all this isn’t so uncommon after a bout of infertility. Maybe it’s not even so uncommon for moms-to-be of second children.

I guess I should just take comfort – for now – in the fact that millions and trillions of women have gone through all this before me, and that most of them (and their children) have muddled through. I think I will, too. I hope.

By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3

Now that Thanksgiving is over, most people are buzzing around in a mad, wintry dash toward Christmas. But I can’t get too wrapped up in all that because I’m busy preparing for two other big events between now and December 25th – birthdays. My firstborn, Adam, will turn 7 this month and my youngest, Kate, will turn 2. Their birthdays are separated by five years and nine days.

When I first learned I was pregnant with each of them, one of my first questions for the doctor was about the due date. I was thrilled to learn it would happen around Christmastime, undoubtedly the most special time of the whole year. What surprised me was the “that’s too bad” reaction I got from some well-meaning friends who thought my unborn kid had already been given a bad break in the birthday department. I heard lots of reasons why being born in December is so unfortunate.

“He’ll always get combo birthday-plus-Christmas presents.”

“Her birthday will always be overshadowed by the holiday.”

“People will give them birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.”

I’ll admit that sometimes these things do happen. But there are also plenty of great things about being born in December. I remember Adam as a newborn being wrapped up in a bright red Christmas stocking just before we brought him home from the hospital. We rocked him for the first time beside a twinkling Christmas tree, feeling as if we’d already been given the best, most priceless gift we could ever receive.

When I was pregnant with Kate, I felt this heightened anticipation of Christmas. Not only were we expecting Christmas, we were also expecting a new baby due just a few days before. When she arrived, we brought her home and huddled around our own little miracle – a blessing that reinforced what the holiday really signifies.

Adam and Kate celebrate birthdays in a house where all the nooks and crannies are decorated for Christmas. There’s a certain energy in the air. The kitchen is full of brightly colored tins full of Christmas cookies. And the Fed Ex truck arrives regularly bearing gifts from far-away relatives and friends. If that’s not a party atmosphere, I don’t know what is.

There are far worse things to get saddled with than a December birthday. For lots of people, it works out just fine. Along with my own little celebrities, those with December birthdays include Walt Disney, Brad Pitt, Diane Sawyer, Frank Sinatra, Emily Dickinson, Tiger Woods and Sir Isaac Newton. And if that’s not an impressive enough list, let’s not forget that sharing a birthday month with Jesus is not too shabby either.

So this is for all you birthday boys and girls who get “combo” presents. It’s for those of you tearing into a gift wrapped in snowman paper that ought to say “Happy Birthday” instead. For those people whose birthday festivities often collide with Christmas parties, parades, or holiday travel plans, I wish you a very happy birthday, filled with and surrounded by the perks that abound this time of year – good cheer, generosity, joy, faith and really good Christmas cookies. Merry Birthday to you, and a happy New Year.

Want to read more Rockwood Files? Click here!