Dear Rhonda,

What’s the general rule of thumb on hair color as you age? Go lighter as you get older, or go darker? Or does it all depend on your skin tone?

Dear Color Question,

Well, since no one really wants to talk about those “platinum” hairs coming in, this subject has to be treated with love and respect. I think it’s best to decide up front if you want to go “natural” or hide it. My mother has beautiful snow white hair that I would love to have one day — if my hair would cooperate and turn that beautiful white shade like hers. Instead, I got stuck fighting the ugly gray hair, so I cover it up with color and highlights often.

I recently had a client in my chair who wanted to cover her gray. She sill had quite a bit of her natural color mixed in with the gray hair. We talked about her lifestyle, and she made it clear that she’s a “low maintenance” kind of gal. Normally, you would color the hair and possibly highlight or low-light as needed. But since I knew she had a busy lifestyle and not a lot of time for maintenance, I suggested we foil in highlights and low-lights. (I call it a “push-pull.” Not sure when or why I started calling it that, but it works.)

I placed the highlights and low-lights and used her natural hair between the foils, taking fine sections, so that the maintenance would be super easy for her. Also, for the low-lights, I used a semi-permanent color so, as her hair grows out, the darker colors will fade away. She won’t see that tell-tale line of demarcation as it grows. When we were done, the results looked very natural and it really was a beautiful overall color on her. She was happy, and so was I.

As far as going lighter or darker as you age, it truly is a personal choice. Our hair naturally lightens as we get older anyway, so I tend to lean more towards going a little lighter than your natural color. The gray is also hidden well with highlights. 

Again, it comes down to what type of look you’re going for. Skin tone definitely has a strong bearing on the tone of color you should use. You would never want to see someone with very pale, white skin with dark black hair. Color should always accentuate your features and skin tone.

Getting older is hard enough, mamas. We shouldn’t have to worry about our hairstyle or hair color making us look even one day older than we really are. They say “You’re only as old as you feel.” But with the wrong hair color, you can feel ancient well before your time.

Rhonda Moulder, pictured right, is a mama to two beautiful daughters and is also a stylist in Bentonville at Estella Studio. E-mail her a hair question at mamas@nwaMotherlode.com or call for an appointment at 479-586-5100. Have a happy hair day.

Okay, mamas. Meet Rhonda. She’s my friend and also my hair stylist. I met her years ago through another friend whose hair consistently looked so healthy and fabulous that it was starting to secretly tick me off. So instead of envying my friend’s good hair fortune, I finally asked her who was cutting her hair. One month later, I was sitting in Rhonda’s magic chair.

What I really like about Rhonda is that she isn’t one of those fakey-fake, syrupy sweet hair stylists who will tell you exactly what you want to hear, take your Mastercard and send you on your delusional way. If you ask for her professional opinion, she’ll give it to you. She’s never brutal, but she is honest.

I asked her to host this hair forum because she really knows hair but also because she’s funny, she tells a good story and she’s got two teenage daughters so she completely understands the complexities of hair drama. When your hair looks like crap, your mood often goes right along with it.

So, if you need hair wisdom or a product recommendation or a good laugh, you’ve clicked on the right spot.

E-mail Rhonda by clicking here.

Dear Rhonda,

I cheated on my stylist. I wanted to try this new guy that my friend said was supposed to be great, but I hated the way he cut my hair. I really want to go back to my old stylist but she is going to take one look at me and know that I strayed, and I really don’t want things to be awkward. What should I do?

Dear Remorseful Cheater,

There’s an old saying out there that goes like this: “You stray, you pay.� But the truth is that it’s really okay if you try another stylist. Honestly, it is. In fact, stylists are sometimes even relieved to lose a customer who might be super picky or just never really satisfied. We’re normal people, just like you. We want our clients to be happy and, if you never are, it’s probably best for both of us if you move on.

But if you choose to go to someone else and happen to not like what you’ve paid for, go back with confidence to your old stylist. If he or she is happy to hear from you again, chances are you’ll get right back in her appointment book. If you’re made to wait, oh, I don’t know, two to three weeks or more, then chances are she wishes you had stayed away.

Now, this isn’t really a bad thing. It just means maybe you need to realize that stylists are human. It may also mean you need to do a reality check on your expectations. Really listen to what your stylist has to say about what kind of cut, style and color will work best on you. Remember, we’re trained for this, and your stylist can be your hair’s best friend.

Speaking of friends, most stylists genuinely like their clients and want them to be happy with their hair. If you end up being happier with another stylist, so be it. It’s your choice, your money and, most importantly, your hair. You’re the one who needs to feel good about how you look. And we all know that if you start the day with bad hair, your whole day heads straight into the pooper.

Just be sure you’re communicating with your stylist – what you like about your hair and what you don’t like. And be sure to do this before the stylist begins. Here’s hoping you and your stylist have a happy reunion.

Rhonda Moulder, pictured right, is a mama to two beautiful daughters and is also a stylist in Bentonville. E-mail her a hair question at mamas@nwaMotherlode.com or call for an appointment at the salon at 479-586-5100. Have a happy hair day.

Dear Rhonda,

My son is terrified of getting his hair cut. Any suggestions for how I can help make this less scary for him?

Dear Terrified Toddler,

I completely understand the fear some toddlers feel about going to a salon. The first thing you can do is talk to your toddler and get him excited about the haircut. It really should be a fun experience that kids can enjoy.

If he has already had a bad experience in the salon, he’ll certainly remember it. I once had a child who had his ear accidentally nicked by the clippers during a past visit to a salon. He was terrified. I took the little boy aside and we talked about what he was scared of. Once we talked through it, he enjoyed his haircut and was excited about coming back. With kids, these things take TIME. And it’s so important that they know they can trust someone.

The good news is that there are child-friendly salons out there. So be involved in this process, and make sure it’s as fun for your toddler as possible. Check out the salon on your own first and decide if it is kid-friendly. If not, keep searching for the right salon. Your toddler deserves the best.

Rhonda Moulder, pictured right, is a mama to two beautiful daughters and is also a stylist at Blue Door & Co. in downtown Bentonville. E-mail her a hair question at mamas@nwaMotherlode.com or call for an appointment at the salon at 479-273-9944. Have a happy hair day.