Finally, the housewives of Wisteria Lane are back from the holiday break. Looks like 2009 is getting interesting already. If you missed it, here’s what happened Sunday night:

Edie: Well, crazy Dave is off his meds because he kinda murdered his psychiatrist and then burned down the bar where he committed the crime to cover it up. So Dave has not been able to get a much-needed refill which has caused him to become more than a little edgy and bizarre. In fact, Edie woke up in the middle of the night and heard Dave’s voice coming from the dining room. She tip-toed downstairs and found him sitting there alone having a conversation with invisible people. When she questioned him about it the next day, he finally admitted that he was married once before but that his wife had died. But that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back for Edie. She told him to pack his things and get out by the end of the day. Ouch.

Bree: Bree offered to host her son’s boyfriend’s mother for a few days so they could all meet their future in-laws. It would have probably been fine, except this lady is like the anti-Bree. She’s an out-of-work cocktail waitress who likes to kick back a few beers on the front steps and smash her cans with her feet. But she and Bree do have one thing in common – they both like to have their own way. So when the boyfriend’s mother tried to convince the guys to move five hours away to her town, Bree upped the ante and bought the vacant house on Wisteria Lane, to ensure that her son and any future grandchildren would be close by.

Susan: Mike had M.J. and boyfriend Jackson was out-of-town, so Susan went out with her gay neighbor, who was in a tiff with Bob. They went to a bar, complained about men, drank too much wine and ended up in bed together. But nothing happened, except Susan beginning to realize that maybe she just doesn’t love Jackson enough to move away from Wisteria Lane and live with him in another town. (That’s okay with me. Not a big fan of Jackson’s hair anyway.)

Gabi: When Carlos quit his job at the country club, Gabi insisted he get busy finding a new one. In fact, she even found one for him when she bumped into a former associate of his who was looking for an investment “shark” like Carlos. But Carlos had decided he wanted to work with the blind at the community center – a job that would inevitably keep the family struggling to pay the bills. They both dug in their heels, but Gabi eventually won the fight and said it was “his turn” to take care of things for a while. Hope that move doesn’t come back to bite her. I have a feeling it will.

Lynette: She’s definitely got the market cornered on the biggest problems on Wisteria Lane. Her son is on the run and his identical twin is standing in for him so that the family doesn’t lose their bail money, which would mean they’d lose their restaurant and sole source of income. Talk about your high-stress situations. Lynette found out that the twins had been secretly talking by cell phone and she convinced Preston to tell his brother to come home. (He’s hiding out because the husband of the woman he had an affair with has threatened to kill him. And he’s also a tad worried about going to jail for setting a deadly fire in a bar. But he didn’t actually do that one.) At the end of the episode, we found out that Preston is holed up with his grandmother – Lynette’s not so sweet and cuddly mom.

There will be another new episode next Sunday, so stay tuned, set your DVR or meet me back here next Monday for a full recap of the action.

“The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.” Isaiah 32:17

By Bro. John L. Cash, Country Preacher Dad

Once I was preaching the first sermon of a new year. The congregation had just finished up the Christmas season—you know, the kind when you go to so many parties and have a month-long binge of treats and sweets. And I said, “Well, here we are in The Oatmeal Days of January.” I was surprised when so many of the mothers in my congregation nodded their heads in agreement. They knew what I meant. When January arrives, we’re bloated with what we’ve eaten in December, and our pocketbooks are light from what went spent during the holidays. We’re forced to eat oatmeal. The party is over, and it’s back to the boring routine. The Oatmeal Days of January are here.

The mundane and routine, coupled with dark, winter weather, can make the days following the holidays seem pretty bleak. But, something my wife Susan said gave me a renewed appreciation of the ordinary. It was also one of the nicest things anyone has ever said in my presence.

Susan and I have a wonderful friend in the ministry, Bro. Jim McQuarry. Our friendship goes back nearly 30 years, and he is one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. (He preaches at the nearby Christian Church that is the “town church”.) He is a confirmed bachelor and sometimes stops by for a visit. We’re always happy to feed him because he is easy to please and really just finishes up our leftovers. Once, he stopped by for a quick meal on a Saturday night. I was sitting at the kitchen table cutting out circles from used Christmas cards, so that my Sunday School children could make hospice ornaments from them.

It was then that Preacher Jim said, in good-natured teasing, “Well, Susan, you really married an exciting man. I don’t know how you bear the excitement of what goes on here on Saturday night. It must be thrilling to live with a man who cuts up Christmas cards on Saturday night!”

Now, we’ve all heard this type of conversation before. And we know what Susan’s next line is supposed to be. “Yes, Jim, you’re right. I married an old man who’s a dud.” I was smiling, and that was the reply I expected from her.

But, amazingly enough, that’s not what she said at all. In fact, she straightened her backbone and answered in complete seriousness. She said, “Now, Jim McQuarry, you leave John alone! When I was a teenager, I had an alcoholic stepfather. He was bad to us, and I used to pray that when I grew up God would send me a man who would be good to me and take care of me. Now I’ve got that, and I’m glad he cuts up Christmas cards on Saturday night. So, you just need to let John be!”

You see, there’s a point to all this and here it is: There are far worse things than boring and routine. The opposite of mundane is not always “exciting and fascinating.” Sometimes the opposite of mundane is “chaotic and scary.”

So, dear mama, give thanks to God for the quiet seasons of life. Cherish the routine times you have to enjoy your babies. Oatmeal days are not always so bad—especially when you look at them the right way and add a sprinkle of brown sugar and spice!

Dr. John L. Cash is the “Country Preacher Dad” (Sing that title to the tune of “Secret Agent Man”) He was raised in Stuttgart, Arkansas, and is beginning his third decade of being a country preacher in the piney woods five miles south of the little town of Hickory, Mississippi. He and his lovely wife, Susan, and his sons, Spencer (age 17) and Seth (age 14) live in the parsonage next door to the Antioch Christian Church (where the preacher’s family doesn’t eat much oatmeal but a lot “Marshmallow Mateys” from industrial-sized bags). You should write him at extramailbox@juno.com.

By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3

One of the reasons so many New Year’s resolutions fail has a lot to do with the word itself. Trust me, we writer-types know how much words matter. The right one can make all the difference. The wrong one can kill the whole line. The word “resolutions”? Nope. It’s all wrong.

“Resolute” means steadfast, fixed. It means “firmness of purpose,” unwavering and undaunted. When you’re trying to change something about yourself – particularly something big – most days you’ll feel everything except “resolute.” Most days you’ll hate the whole idea. You’ll want to jump off the wagon, embrace your vice and wallow in the muck of February failures. Resistant? Yes. Resentful? Probably. Resolute? No way.

I think we’re better off with something more practical like a 2009 To-Do List. (Notice the name has the word “do” in it, indicating it’s designed for action.) Nobody wakes up in the morning and scribbles down resolutions for the day. They write a to-do list because it means business. It’s not about ideals or goals or concepts. It’s about getting things done. Getting results. Plus, a forceful to-do list kept in a high visibility spot will absolutely haunt you. It begs to be checked or crossed off with one of those fat Sharpie pens.

I’m not at all resolute about my New Year’s To-Do List. Right now I loathe the list because it’s hard. It’s cliché, I know, but I really do want to lose at least 10 pounds by summer. But you would never have guessed that was what I wanted a couple of weeks ago when I was enjoying Christmas at my mom and dad’s house. I inhaled every piece of ham on my plate, polished off my mother’s famous desserts, sucked down as many Dr. Peppers and holiday punch as I could hold and was absolutely shameless about it for five consecutive days. It was as if I knew the cold reality of January was coming and I was walking some sort of dietary plank. And, by golly, I was going to make sure I was as guilty as possible by the time I reached the end of the line. I kept telling myself that in January I’d do better.

So here we are – in January. And the inertia of last year’s bad habits is hard to shake. I don’t feel super-motivated by the ball dropping on Times Square. I don’t feel like going to a spinning class. I don’t feel like drinking more water. I just want what I want without having to pay any consequence. I want the good results without the work. It’s silly and childish but oh-so-true for so many of us.

The truth is we are our habits. They are the actions that help define us. Smokers smoke. Drinkers drink. Yellers yell. And people who need to lose 10 or more pounds eat things they know they shouldn’t in quantities they know they shouldn’t. Simple as that.

What’s not so simple is how to change habits in a way that will really stick for the long haul. If I ever figure that one out, I’ll write a column about it from some far-away beach where I’ll be looking incredible in a bikini thanks to my newfound healthy habits. In the meantime, I can only hope human desire is stronger than bad habits. I believe we all have a vision of the kind of person we’d really like to be. Often it’s really tough to get there, but the people who want it bad enough tend to find their way. And their paths are probably as different and individual as the people on them.

What I do know is that nothing changes if we don’t start doing at least one thing differently than we did before. In the last six months of last year, I ate Fritos too frequently, drank too much Dr. Pepper, stayed up to do my work until nearly 1 a.m. and cut my hair too short in order to save time in the mornings. Then I told myself the ultimate lie – that I’d start working out when my schedule slowed down a little. (Yeah, right.)

That was me. Whether or not that continues to be me in 2009 will depend on how I manage day-to-day stress and how badly I want things to be different. Here’s my 2009 To-Do List:

1. Eat better food and smaller portions to lose 10 pounds by summer

2. Work out at least three times a week.

3. Let my hair grow longer

4. Ration Dr. Peppers to one a day

5. Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night

When I was writing my list, I included at least two things small enough to be checked off by March or April because those early successes will help fuel the rest of the journey. (I’ve already begun rationing my beloved Dr. Peppers and my hair is growing even as I type!)

Forget about being “resolved” to do anything this year. The bigger question is “What’s on your to-do list”? And when are you getting started? Good luck and Godspeed.

By Jackie Helton, the Music Mama

If you’ve got a few extra Christmas calories to burn, you’re going to love the January Work-Out Music playlist. It starts off with songs at a reasonable tempo to help you get going, ramps up with some high-energy, fast songs and then helps you cool down with a more comfortable walking tempo.

It includes a mix of new songs, old ones and some lyrics to motivate your work-out. There are enough songs on this list to keep you moving (or dancing) for an hour. So grab your walking shoes and your iPod and get going!

A Matter of Trust, by Billy Joel

Human, by The Killers

Work It, by Missy Elliott

Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It), by Beyonce’

Womanizer, by Britney Spears

Love Shack, by B-52’s

Let’s Get It Started, by Black Eyed Peas

Old Time Rock and Roll, by Bob Seger

Hey Ya’, by Outkast

Livin’ On A Prayer, by Bon Jovi

This Is How A Heart Breaks, by Rob Thomas

Danger Zone, by Kenny Loggins

Tusk, by Fleetwood Mac

Ain’t Going Down Till The Sun Comes Up, by Garth Brooks

Livin’ La Vida Loca, by Ricky Martin

Viva La Vida, by Coldplay

Keeps Getting’ Better, by Christina Aguilera

Love Lockdown, by Kanye West

Hips Don’t Lie, by Shakira

Satisfaction, by The Rolling Stones

Walk Away, by Kelly Clarkson

The Music Mama is back each month with a new playlist. Be sure to check back in February for her master list of love songs!