By Jade Stone
If you’ve been following along you’ve probably learned quite a bit about the way I grew up and already know that my upbringing has greatly influenced the filter through which I view all things military.
You also know that the military played and continues to play a huge role in my life. That in mind, it goes without saying that I love the show Army wives. The problems are real and are dealt with realistically. This particular week really struck me, though.
At this point in the story line, orders have been given to the soldiers on this particular post and everyone is beginning to prepare for the deployment. The father of one family is leaving behind two children so he charged the oldest with being the man of the house. Of course, their mom feared that the oldest (being only 10) was simply too young.
As the drama unfolded, the soldier tried to explain that children raised in a military home have to grow up faster, take on more responsibility earlier, and be an active part of the deployment in an effort to come through it as a family. I had never given that idea much thought but realized how much truth there really is in it.
Children in an active military family, no matter the age, will have to endure the hardships and sacrifices that inevitably go along with deployment. Everyone has to help do their part whether it’s taking out the trash or simply learning to understand and cope when things don’t go exactly as planned, a concept that even some adults struggle with.
As the show closed, new orders came down the line from Washington declaring that the entire command post would also be deploying within 2 weeks, which was not originally part of the plan.
The sobering scenes of families receiving the “not-so-great news” played out before my eyes. I believe the look in a person’s eyes can truly betray them by openly declaring the emotion that they’re trying to hide. We’ve all experienced it from one side or another for various reasons.
Regardless of the reason for the disappointment, little can hide the hollowness of dismay that pools in a person’s eyes, no matter how much encouragement leaks from his or her mouth. It’s simply un-maskable. And so I watched with sympathy for each family, thinking quietly, “I know what that feels like”. I know how incredibly horrible it is to be filled with such inevitability. And yet I viewed it from a distance with little thought of my own future.
Little did I know that scene was about to unfold in my living room not 20 minutes later when my husband arrived home from drill this past weekend. He handed me a list of drill dates which also included the dates for the illusive deployment that has been looming over our heads. I knew in my heart as soon as his boots hit the dirt after the first deployment that there would be another and part of me is happy to finally have some dates in hand. But the other part of me is a little hollow, simply because what has been just an unpleasant possibility in the future is now an imminent part of our rapidly approaching present.
We have fewer than 45 weeks left to do whatever it is we need or want to do before we lose him for a year and God willing no more.
Someone asked “So what do you do?” Well, honestly, what can I do? It is simply a proclamation of what will come and thankfully we have time to process the information and prepare our lives for a long period without him. Obviously we will celebrate the upcoming anniversary, birthdays, and other holidays with added fervor. We will certainly relish all of those “little moments” in life that God grants us from time to time and we will work to make sure our little boy spends as much time with Daddy as possible between now and then.
It’s more important than ever to show my husband that I support him and that we will be okay. Army Strong for a spouse in our home means stepping up and putting one foot in front of the other every day with a smile on your face no matter how tough it gets, because the soldier needs to know you’re okay and that there is nothing to worry about on the home front.
It is my job to ensure that his only concern is his mission and protecting my most valuable asset — his life. Nothing else matters.
Jade welcomes your comments here as well as any suggestions you may have for her future posts. You may also e-mail her at akajadestone [AT] yahoo [DOT] com. To read previous Military Mama posts, CLICK HERE.
It our job, as your friends, to make sure all he needs to worry about is his job and being safe. You shouldn’t have to do that alone. Love your blog!