By Shannon Magsam, nwaMotherlode.com co-founder and mama of Ladybug
Since we’re smack dab in the middle of the month of love (it really is for us: Valentine’s Day, our daughter’s birthday and our anniversary) I was just thinking about romance before. You know, before the domestic bonds of matrimony and parenthood swept us up into their all-consuming embrace.
You’re sweating, your bosom is heaving. You feel so breathless, so out of control. Scene: You’re mopping the tile floor and that sticky jelly patch just will NOT budge and you have to leave for a meeting in 15 minutes.
The mopping is what got me to thinking about it. All that energy I used to put into making my husband feel like the most adored man alive – and all that energy he used to put into covering an entire room with wildflowers just for my viewing pleasure – is now mostly devoted to domestic tasks.
Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW the romance of a man who will do dishes, laundry and remember that our child needs glow sticks for a school project.
Yes, he really is thoughtful like that. My man is a gem, I agree. Even his initials are JEM. It’s a fact.
But we, and I stress the we, are just not as romantic as we used to be. Who has the time?
As I noted, all that energy is spent on mopping, parenting and paying the bills. We can get into our loops and forget that we have the power – and the need — to step outside the swirling tornado of today on occasion.
I just told our daughter, who turned 15 this month (can you even believe it?), about how her daddy wooed me at the beginning of our relationship by first making me giggle in the orange juice aisle of our local grocery store and then by writing me a poem that turned my knees to jelly (believe me, not kitchen floor jelly). It was soooo romantic.
Of course, my daughter, being 15 and all, wasn’t too impressed, noting that our romantic fusion had boomeranged and she wasn’t the slightest bit romantic. We’re apparently a little ooey gooey for her taste, even after 17 years of marriage.
Good thing she didn’t see us before.
We can’t go back to those crazy carefree days, but we can still hang on to the romance. As G.I. Joe says, knowing is half the battle, so I’m going to bust out with some extra love today, on Valentine’s Day, and on our anniversary, which is coming up later this month.
That 15-year-old will be heading off to college in three years and we’ll be here, alone, together. In the meantime, it’s smart to get back in touch with a little more of the before.