Drama for Mama: The Bachelorette!

By Cara Cleek Ogden

ali-bachelorette.pngTonight I thought I was watching an episode of The Bachelor, as much as the guys bickered and back-stabbed. Who knew men could be so mean to each other?! The guys who obviously stayed out of it – Chris L., for example – gained some points in my book. With two one-on-one dates and a group date tonight, there was plenty of opportunity for male drama.

FRANK’S INDIVIDUAL DATE:
Cutie-cute Frank is pretty excited to get the first one-on-one date. Ali picks him up in a really nice classic 1959 Cadillac convertible. Their date gets off to a bad start when the car breaks down on the highway. Although this doesn’t seem to phase Ali, Frank does nothing to help. It would have been cool if he’d have at least looked under the hood and pretended to try to figure out how to fix it. Instead, they hail a cab and go to Hollywood Boulevard and let lots of fans take pictures of them.

Later, the Caddy is magically fixed and Ali just “happens” to have a key to the gate that allows access to the Hollywood sign, and they have their first kiss while sitting on a blanket overlooking the city. Okay, that was pretty romantic. More kissing later while sitting on top of the car hood, having a picnic. I’m worried they’re going to dent the pretty car. Frank gets a rose. No big surprise there. He thinks they have “amazing” chemistry.

BACK AT THE HOUSE:
Trouble’s brewing with Craig M., who annoys Jonathan and picks a fight with Michael Phelps’ look-a-like Jesse. I wouldn’t be picking a fight with Jesse if I were Craig, who is at least ten years older. When the date card arrives, Jonathan is peeved to find out he’s got to go on a group date with Craig.

GROUP DATE:

Ty, Jonathan, Chris H., Kirk, Hunter, Tyler V., Steve, Craig R., Chris N., Kasey, Justin, and Craig M. go with Ali to a beach in Malibu to make a Sexy Guy Calendar for charity. This involves most of the guys dressing up in Speedos and Jonathan doesn’t like it one bit. He hides in the dressing room as long as possible, probably so he won’t get sand kicked in has face by Craig M., who is feeling mighty fine about himself and the way he looks.

When Ty gets his time with Ali on the beach, a guitar appears out of nowhere and he sings her a little country song that he probably wrote himself. Ali sits and watches patiently as the song goes on about thirty seconds too long, and she claps when he’s finished. Probably because she’s glad it’s over.

Later in the evening, after they’ve all changed into evening clothes and settled in at what looks like a winery for some mingling time, Ty tells her that he’s been married before. He loves being married, he says, but it just didn’t work out. Ali seems touched that he shared.

While Ali’s with Ty, Craig M. is being a meanie to Jonathan again. So Jonathan goes to Ali to tattle on Craig, telling her that Craig is “dangerous.” Later, Jonathan tells us that he’s not there to meet twenty-four guys, he’s here to meet Ali. In Bachelor/Bachelorette history, this line is usually spoken by the person who has trouble fitting in or playing well with others. Craig really is being mean, but no one likes a tattle-tale.

Ali has some more alone time with various guys, including Justin, who feeds her a bunch of lines, which she eats up while snuggling up to him. Anyone who feels the need to defend his intentions over and over might not really have the best intentions, I’m thinking. I’m still getting a bad vibe.

Ali still has a rose to hand out on this date, and it goes to Ty. Maybe she liked the guitar playing more than I did.

JESSE’S INDIVIDUAL DATE:
Ali takes Jesse to Vegas via a private jet and a Ferrari. They swim in a private pool, then change into evening clothes for dinner and dancing. They don’t seem to have much chemistry but Jesse’s trying. And Ali gives him a rose and some points for having potential. She also gives him some kisses on the dance floor.

COCKTAIL PARTY:
Things are tense as the cocktail party gets underway. Craig M. is still picking on poor Jonathan. And John C., Roberto, and Chris L., the guys who didn’t get a date this week, are wondering if they’ll get to talk to Ali tonight.

When Ali talks to Chris L., he talks about his family and his home on Cape Cod. He seems like a solid guy and I hope Ali gets to know him better. She doesn’t get giddy around him like she does with Roberto, however. And Roberto takes full advantage of her interest by showing off his baseball skills and playing a game of catch with her.

While Kasey is having his alone time with Ali, Frank interrupts. He tells her that he feels like she’s his girlfriend and he’s not really enjoying her dating all these other guys. They kiss a lot and Ali is obviously smitten with him. Some of the others are a little jealous.

After Jonathan once again tells Ali bad stuff about Craig M., Ali decides to confront the situation herself. She pulls Craig aside, who does little to defend himself except for to ask her to give him some one-on-one time. I’m thinking you had your one-on-one time right here, Buddy, and you blew it! Craig’s ticked that someone told on him and confronts the whole group of men, singling out Jonathan, who talks in circles trying not to admit that he’s the one who tattled. Jonathan does tell Craig that he needs to grow up, and he’s right.

ROSE CEREMONY:
red-rose.jpgSince Frank, Ty and Jesse already have roses, Ali only passes out eleven roses tonight. It’s down to four men left without roses….. Chris H., Tyler V., Craig M., and Jonathan. Ali gives her final rose to Jonathan, whispering her thanks to him for having her back. Tyler seems surprised that he’s leaving, although none of us are. We don’t even see Chris saying goodbye, and I barely remember him anyway. And Craig, of course, has a few choice words directed at Jonathan.

NEXT WEEK:
Looks like some more male drama coming! At a Barenaked Ladies video-shoot, there’s lots of kissing going on, which may make Frank a little jealous. Roberto gets his first one-on-one date. And Justin continues to defend his intentions.

cara-cleek-ogdenthumbnail.jpgCara is a working single mom of a very energetic 10-year-old daughter, Ibby. Cara says, “At the end of my day, I often have just enough strength left to operate the remote control. Thankfully, my personal life is fairly calm. So in order to up the drama quotient, I keep up with my favorite TV shows. I may feel differently in a few years when my daughter hits puberty. But for now, I’m glad to have some ‘Drama for Mama’.”