By Gwen Rockwood

Gather ‘round, men. I’m going to tell you one of the best things you could ever say to your wife. A sentence so powerful it’s sure to melt away any resentment she may be harboring over not-so-great things you may have said in the past. A statement so true, so endearing, so empowering, it’ll revive her belief that you are a man who truly “gets her.�

And you may as well read it now because, if you don’t, you may one day find this column taped ever-so-subtly to your bathroom mirror.

You ready? Here it is: “I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.�

I know. It’s a little shocking, right? You figured it was going to be something along the lines of “You’re the best wife in the whole world,� or “Wow, you look smokin’ hot in those jeans.� But most moms don’t want the pressure that comes along with a title like “best wife in the world� and we’re a little suspicious that the jeans remark might be laced with ulterior motives.

There are good, solid reasons why “I don’t know how you do it� makes such an impact. I’ll outline it for you, but first you have to promise not to say it if you don’t know what the heck you’re talking about. In order for the words to carry true magic, you’ve got to walk a mile in her shoes and come to know how sore your feet are by the end of the day. You’ve got to do what she does – or at least a big part of it – so you can appreciate that motherhood is like competing in the Olympics of multi-tasking every single day.

After you do your homework and can say that magical sentence with complete sincerity, you’re ready to understand the statement’s three-pronged effect. Here’s why it works:

1. It acknowledges that, somehow, she’s pulling it off. Because there are plenty of days, whether she admits it or not, that she’s pretty sure she’s failing at just about everything and she needs someone to tell her that this is not the case. It doesn’t mean she’s pulling it off perfectly, mind you, because perfection doesn’t really exist. It just means she’s giving it all she’s got and she’s getting the most important things done, day after day.

2. It acknowledges that it’s not easy. This point is particularly important if your wife is the stay-at-home variety who is busy burping babies, taming toddlers or running carpool every day. We moms who log all or most of our hours at home can be very touchy when someone asks if we “work,� implying that the only official jobs are those that come with paid vacation days and a 401(k) plan. If someone asks if your wife works, your answer should NEVER be “No, she just stays home with the kids.� It should be something along the lines of “Yes, she puts in about 80 hours a week raising humans and running a household and I have no idea how she does it all.�

3. Finally, saying “I don’t know how you do it� acknowledges that you don’t fully understand the scope of what she does, but you do understand enough to know that you don’t always understand. Confusing? Yes. And I know it goes against your ultra-rational internal hardwiring, but trust me on this. More than anything, your wife just needs you to “get it.� That quality alone will fix almost everything else.

Now, if you’re really smart and want to maximize the benefits of these seven little words for both your wife and yourself, you could follow them up with a few other mama-pleasers, like “Wow, you look great today,� or, one of my all-time favorites, “Why don’t we get a sitter so I can take you out for dinner?� That one gets me every time.

As modern, practical women, most of us have hung up our capes and accepted the fact that there’s no such thing as Supermom. But it sure is nice to live with a man who has some sense of all we do and respects and reveres the mystery of how it all comes together. It makes us want to get up and tackle the universe with each new day.

You know those commercials you see for The Little Gym during PBS kid shows? (I’m picturing the little girl walking across the balance beam and the little boy in front of the confetti birthday cake.) Well, Northwest Arkansas is getting its very own! Owner and gym director Melanie Shannon said they’re opening The Little Gym at 2603 West Pleasant Grove in Rogers on Aug. 25. It’s in the same shopping center as Mad Pizza, Chick-fil-A, Life Style Dentistry and other great businesses.

Melanie, who hails from Little Rock (where the only other facility is located), said non-competitive gymnastics is the first order of business. “Our primary focus is to help develop motor skills and to build self confidence,� she said.

The gym will eventually add dance, cheerleading, karate and sports skills, she said.

Beginning in October, there will be Parents’ Survival Nights every other Friday night from 6 to 10 p.m. for kids ages 3-12. “Parents can go out and have a good time knowing their kids are having fun and getting some exercise in a safe place,� Melanie said.

Melanie encourages moms to set up a free trial class to check out The Little Gym in person. “Kids love it,� she said. “It’s more than gymnastics. We help encourage exploration and problem-solving skills.�

To sign up for a free trial, call Melanie at 479-636-5566.

It’s been a busy week, right? You need something to help you relax, laugh a little. We’ve got just the thing. These video clips are sure to send you into the weekend in a great mood. The first one is about how men’s brains differ from ours, and it will educate you on an important component in the male brain – “the nothing box.â€� My husband swears it’s absolutely true, and I believe him. Here’s the link. Click and enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DKk_tdyehA

And have you had the pleasure of watching any of the episodes from In the Motherhood? (This is the one where they introduce Jenny McCarthy as a new mom on the show.) This one is the grocery store scene that’s a must see!

Have a wonderful Friday!

I walked into the Book Club meeting at Joe’s Bistro a little late. Laura caught my attention and gestured to Liz. Or more specifically, Liz’s finger. There, on her left hand, was a large, sparkly diamond. We squealed. She was officially engaged.

Naturally, we book clubbers then focused mainly on marriage proposals (we did manage to decide on our next book club read, The Other Boleyn Girl, which is supposedly much better than the movie). Then Liz was forced at fork-point to tell us every detail of the proposal. It turns out she got just a tad grumpy when, as she was mentally preparing herself for a James at the Mill proposal that evening, her boyfriend nonchalantly asked her if she might just want to stay home instead. Bad question, since he’s the one who told her where they were going and she was left to make assumptions from there. She quickly panicked and thought he might have changed his mind about proposing after all. Fortunately, it all ended well that same evening with a ring on her finger and phone calls to the parents. After Liz finished the story, several of us chimed in with our own proposal stories that went horribly wrong (read: took way too freaking long to transpire).

I relayed how I, too, turned into a raving lunatic after my now-husband kept making me wait to receive the ring I knew he had in his possession. Then, finally, I knew this was IT. We were walking around the Fayetteville Square at Christmas-time and planned to take a romantic carriage ride. I pretended it was just a plain ‘ole ride around the square in a Cinderella carriage. I tried to act naturally. Then it started raining and my good mood dissolved like sugar. We scurried back to his car through buckets of stinging rain and somewhere between Center Street and East I stopped feeling angry. I was actually laughing by the time I slammed the car door shut. I decided to chill out and figure it would happen when it happened. When we got back to my apartment I apologized for my grumpy behavior that evening. Then I went in to blow dry my hair, took a moment to stick out my tongue out at the image in my mirror and then pulled on some warm, comfortable clothes.

I came out of my bedroom with a better hairdo and a sweeter attitude (thank goodness) and found a tender scene: my sweetie had dimmed the lights, turned on the Christmas tree and placed a picnic on the apartment floor.

We had a snack (my husband knows that when I’m Oscar the Grouch he can soothe the green beast with sustenance) and chatted about the weather. Then, suddenly, he scrambled onto one knee and produced a little black box from his pocket. After all those days of expectant agitation, I was truly surprised.

I said yes, absolutely. Partly because he still wanted to marry me, theatrics and all. And partly because I wanted. that. ring.

After the short version of my proposal, it was Erin’s turn to tell about her engagement-gone-bad. Then others chimed it. It seems the lady book clubbers were full of good stories about bad proposals. We wondered, “Do bad proposals lead to good marriages?� It was funny to discuss, but I have to say I don’t believe it’s a predictor. For five years I interviewed married couples about how they met for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette’s weekly Right Time, Right Place feature. Inevitably, we discussed how he proposed. The proposals ranged from sitting in a car outside AQ Chicken to elaborate measures on bended knee.

One of the sweetest was a guy who was attempting to propose quietly at Thorncrown Chapel just before a tour bus of elderly women descended upon the popular wedding site. After the initial bumbling, he went ahead and surprised his girlfriend with a proposal, after which the white-haired audience clapped loudly when she said yes.

However, I do believe that many women get a little nutty when it comes to pining for that ring. It calls to us from that black box in his underwear drawer like Tolkien’s “one ring.�

Luckily, we transform back into the wonderful, loving creatures we once were as soon as “the precious� is placed squarely on the ring finger of our left hand. And we tell ourselves that our bad behavior just adds character to the story. And we feel a little embarrassed. At least I still do.

How did your husband propose? Was it romantic or did you force him to hand over the ring at gunpoint? Click on the word “comment” below and let’s dish.

[Thanks to Webweaver for the animated ring clip art)