Slightly Tilted: It’s the BIG one!

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

I’m turning 40 next month. It’s not really a big deal. You know, for those 5 minutes a day that I don’t think about it.

Last week I went to the doctor because I was hurting everywhere. I mean, everywhere. It turns out I had tennis elbow in both arms and a pinched nerve in my back that made my right leg feel like it was on fire.

I walked in a 39-year-old woman with an achy body and walked out feeling 90 years old with a new medical vocabulary.

barbie tennisHow did this happen to me?! I don’t even play tennis! I don’t deserve to be falling apart with medical injuries named after a sport in which I don’t participate! That’s just not right.

I feel 18 on the inside, but my body is constantly reminding me I’m not all that and a bag of chips anymore. (Did I just date myself even more by saying “all that and a bag of chips”?! Jeez!!) I’m like a musical instrument when I walk — snapping ankles, creaking knees, and a bunch of sighing.

And I work out! I exercise daily! I stretch! I eat right! It’s frustrating.

When I was younger — like yesterday — Botox seemed crazy to me. Inject yourself with a known poison just to make wrinkles go away? No way!

Now, it’s like…what’s the recovery time? Can I put it in that crease between my butt and thighs to lift my booty? Just how much can I use before it’s considered a “lethal dose”?

I mean…I haven’t used it yet, but it’s worth a little research, right?

I asked my mom just the other day at what age you feel like a responsible, fully-grown adult whose body matches the way you feel on the inside. She said she didn’t know yet.

I love that answer. I’ll always be 18 on the inside, even if I don’t look that way to the rest of the world and my body is crumbling around me. So cheers to all you youngins’ trapped in a body that won’t fully cooperate anymore! Put on your dancing shoes today and throw back the Advil tomorrow.

We’ve got some living to do.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

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Slightly Tilted: Becoming the Procrastinator

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

I’m not a procrastinator. I’ll have something done before you finish asking me for it. I was always the nerd that would finish the semester-long assignment the first week it was assigned.

I don’t like projects and chores hanging over my head – I want them done! Now!

But lately…oh, lately. It’s been a whirlwind of work, school, dramatic fights with kids in retail stores, major life events, and unforeseen situations. I don’t know what’s been the air the last six months or so, but I’m ready for it to go away.

All life’s stresses seemed to hit at one time, which definitely affected my way of life. I became…dun dun dun…THE PROCRASTINATOR.

I have been surprised – both good and bad – at this turn of events. My husband is usually the one who has the procrastination market cornered. He can procrastinate about his procrastination. Never at work, oh no…he saves all of that for home. #ImSoBlessed

to-do-listWhat I’ve learned through this “forced, but necessary” procrastination era of my life is this: it’s okay to wait a bit and let the creativity fester.

Usually I’m so focused on getting the project done and off my “to do” list, that I don’t take the time to kick around several ideas.

I can be too structured, too obvious. I need to take a step back and let my mind wander. Somewhere along the way, I traded deadlines for originality. That’s not necessarily bad, but it sure as heck ain’t good either.

There is something to “smelling the roses” and, although I wasn’t ignoring a situation or project to just laze around and do nothing, focusing on another situation or project allowed me to have fresh eyes when life swung me back the other way.

Some days, I just had to give myself a mental and emotional break and watch Netflix all day and not move. Those days were good, too. Wiping your brain clean of stress allows you to slowly refocus on the people and situations that are causing you stress in the first place.

The not-so-good is that some friendships were strained, some feelings were hurt, and some projects were dropped. As bad as these things were, I really think they couldn’t be helped. Although I never intended – or wanted – that to happen, I would have destroyed my family and my sanity by trying to juggle ten or more balls in the air. I’m just a overgrown girl, not a magician.

I can feel my anti-procrastination creeping back in, and although it’s a welcoming, comfortable feeling, I think I’m going to fight it for a bit longer. I need some mental space. I need a creative spark. I need to breathe.

But don’t tell my kids – I want their rooms cleaned. Right. Now.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

Slightly Tilted: Broken Rememberers

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

My kids are not at all like elephants. Elephants are supposed to have great memories. My kids have no memory. At all. I don’t know what happened to it, but I think it is probably lost under their beds or crammed in their closet somewhere. I’ve given up on ever finding it again.

Some things they forget:

1. Daily chores and hygiene routines are always a surprise.

I tell my son to brush his teeth. I find him wandering the house looking for his yo-yo.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“No, I’m looking for my yo-yo.”

toothbrushes“What are you supposed to doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re supposed to be in your bathroom brushing your teeth.”

“Oh, yeah.”

*Wanders off down the hall, looking for his yo-yo.

“Dude. Teeth.”

“Brush them? Now?”

“Yes!”

*My head explodes.

2. I always win because I AM THE MOM.

nerds-candyThey sometimes (and by this I mean AT ALL TIMES) forget that my definition of any word wins because I am the mom. For example, food, as I define it, is a healthy, nutritious, and delicious way to fortify the body. Food, in my kids’ opinion, is packaged, unnaturally colored, sugar laden crap with no nutritional value at all.

“Nerds on top of ice cream is not real food and is not appropriate for dinner. Remember we had this conversation last night? Remember?”

“No. But mom…it is real food! I eat it!”

“You used to eat play dough! That’s not food either!”

3. Bedtime is not a negotiation.

There is a bedtime at our house. This is a magical time that my hubby and I look forward to because it means the kids are not with us. They are not in our field of vision. We can’t hear them. As two parents that homeschool and work from home, bedtime is our make-it-or-break-it time. The countdown to 8 PM is on from practically the minute we wake up in the morning.

There is no negotiation.

The kids try to negotiate every night.

I guess they can’t tell from our expressions and attitudes that we are in no mood for any hi-jinks from the two of them. They are good kids and they will be good kids in the morning. Right now…they need to go away to dreamland and daddy and I need to go to a kid-free land.

rp_timex-watch-183x300.jpg“But…it’s only 8!! I’m not tired yet!”

“I don’t care if you’re tired. I’m tired.”

“But…I’m hungry and thirsty and…”

“You just ate and there’s a cup. Get some water from the bathroom.”

“Bathroom water is grooooooossssss!”

“Why don’t you bring snacks and water to your room with you every night?”

“I forrrrrgggggeeeetttt!”

“You need to remember.”

“My rememberer isn’t working!”

“You must be tired.”

“I’m NOOOOOTTTTT!”

And there is the real reason for all the conflict in our house: their remeberers are broken.

Think they have those on Amazon?

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

Slightly Tilted: Where Did Summer Go?

sunset-49383_640 (2)By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

Did this summer just speed by like a freight train or what? I don’t even know how fast a freight train goes. Maybe like a bullet or a rocket? They’re fast, right?

We don’t even do “summer” at my house. I homeschool, and we do something most days, all year round. Every Monday it’s the same thing – review from the last Friday. The kids act like their brains have been emptied of everything they’ve ever learned, every Monday morning of their lives. I try to explain to them THIS is why we can’t have long breaks – but they forget that every weekend, too. Mondays are fun. {Pours Bailey’s into coffee.}

During the summer months, we do slack off a bit. Schoolwork never trumps a playdate. Algebra is still here – your friends are not.

Which brings me to my first point – what the heck happened to this summer? Was it the heat? Was it the days filled with nothing? Was it the days filled with everything? How did it go by so fast?

Am I aging so much that I’m just losing days? Why can’t that happen to the fat on my legs? “I don’t know what happened…one day I looked down and the fat was just gone!”  That will never happen to me. Never.back to school

One day my house was filled with kids, and the next day they were all in Facebook posts sporting their back-to-school looks with new backpacks. It was a little sad. The summer was over and now my free babysitters were all learning math and grammar.

One day there was no traffic and the next day it took me 20 minutes to get to the grocery store.

One day all my friends were looking harried and drinking at 3. I felt like part of the group. Now, they are all energetic again and kid-free during the day and I’m happy for them. But jealous. So jealous.

One day we were having sleepovers on a Wednesday (a WEDNESDAY!) and now…we’re not.

Oh summer!! You went by so fast!

Being back on a schedule is nice. It’s a good thing. It’s a great thing, actually. The days are getting a tiny bit cooler. That’s also a great thing.

But now I have to get up earlier everyday to beat the school traffic on my way to the gym. I have to prepare lesson plans. I have to be a more responsible adult and that whole phrase really stinks. Responsibiliting is not my favorite part of adulting.

On the other hand…I don’t have to shave my legs everyday or slather every family member in sunscreen or wash the chlorine smell out of huge towels that take up my whole dryer.

Life’s a balance. I miss you summer, but I welcome the days of jeans and long-sleeve t-shirts.

Bring on the pumpkin spice lattes and the chili fests.

You were fun, summer. Until next year.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

Alone: A Fairytale

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

The girl planned her escape carefully,  considering what to take and what to leave.

She would wear her yoga pants and an exercise tank with a long T-shirt covering her butt. If she was going to do this, she wanted to be comfortable.

kindle readerShe would take her Kindle and her Bible and her computer. She’d need her lip balm and her flip flops. Who knew when she’d be back?

She would miss them. She laughed. Would she? They’d call her. Multiple times. They’d beg her to come home. But she wouldn’t.

She made a list of the things they needed to do that they would end up forgetting to do and that she’d end up having to do anyway. She had made dinner. Fresh pjs had been laid out on the beds.

They would be able to make it without her. For a little while.

She went over everything again, just to make sure. She texted all the other moms to make sure they all had her hubby’s number. There would be playdates later, and she was not going to coordinate any of them.

She called her parents, just to hear their voice one more time and get reassurance that what she was doing was okay.

Her hubby texted. He was almost home. Did she need anything? Oh, yes. She needed a lot. She had a list of all the things she needed. Things he would never be able to find no matter how hard he supposedly looked.

He pulled in the drive 10 minutes later. She went out to meet him. He was surprised. This can’t be a full conversation, she reminded herself. This needed to be a shock-and-awe campaign to be successful.

“Hey, honey…what’s up?” he asked.

“Dinner has been made. Pjs are on the bed. I am going to the grocery store. By myself. The kids are all yours. I’m not coming home until they are in bed. I will need photographic proof of this before I return.”

“Ok…love you?” he said, confused.

“Love you, too. A lot. But I have to do this. Good luck.”

She climbed in the car and threw her bag in the backseat. She backed out of the driveway.

She turned on her music. Full blast.

She smiled. She laughed.

whatever she wantedShe could go to the store and get all the things she needed. By herself. She had time to do whatever she wanted.

Whatever. She. Wanted.

She made up her mind right then and there. She was stopping at Sonic to get an iced tea or a diet Coke.

The possibilities were endless.

**This mom fairytale was based on a true life event. Names and details have been deleted to protect the mother who is concerned an insane wave of jealousy will cause complete strangers to hate her for getting time to herself.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)