Slightly Tilted: Am I a good mom?

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

Life is full of questions.question-mark

  • How do people on HGTV flip a house in a month with a budget of $10?
  • Why have toys at a book fair? The kids will never, ever go for the books. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of…reading?
  • When does your child realize “That’s awesome!” means “I stopped listening 8 minutes ago to protect what’s left of my sanity”?
  • Do double exclamation marks mean you think you’re hysterically funny or you want me to be extremely excited?
  • Why don’t they really call Target “Tarjay”? It sounds so much classier.
  • Avocados…why are they only perfectly ripe for one hour on a day you’re not even home?
  • How do they hot wire cars so fast in the movies? I can’t even find my keys that fast.
  • Does syrup really come from trees? That seems so weird.

The most burning question of them all for me is…am I a good mom? It always seems to bother me more this time of year. Maybe it’s because of spring cleaning and all the junk I end up finding that I don’t remember buying. What else have I said or done that I don’t remember? I barely remember breakfast, much less all of my millions of failures as a parent.

Will they remember when I had really bad PMS and yelled because they whined all through my favorite song?

Will they hold it against me that I was impatient…well, almost every waking moment of the day?

Will they remember that they had cereal for dinner on multiple occasions because I had to finish work?

Will they be scarred for life that I once ran out of the bathroom naked so I could get a clean towel out of the dryer?

Or…will they just blow it off as mom being mom?

I think I’m okay with them remembering all of that. I think I am. As long as they also remember that I washed their underwear. I dealt with blood, tears, and vomit. I taught them algebra — AND we all survived.

good day cup in circleSo, am I a good mom? I guess the answer is that some days I am and some days I’m not, but I do my best everyday. Don’t we all? Some days we are all on point, i’s are all dotted and t’s all crossed, and some days we’re drinking wine through a fire hose just to make it through dinner.

Today I spilled three glasses of water, broke my phone, taught school without anyone crying, ran errands without forgetting anything, and cussed someone who almost crashed into me while the kids were in the car.

So, yeah…I hope they remember that today was a good day.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

Slightly Tilted: A Whole Other Story

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

I was in my favorite city last week — Vegas. It’s not my favorite because of the gambling, the shows, the “free” drinks, or any of that. It’s my favorite place because we always meet the most interesting people.

The first morning we were down at the craps table with one other person. It was early, but we’d had our coffee and were ready to play. This old man (I’d say in his 80s) walked over to the table. He was super nice and had a ton of questions. Apparently, he’d been up in his room watching all the tutorials. He tentatively pulled his money out of his wallet and laid it on the table. It was his turn with the dice and he was shaking – literally shaking – with nervous energy. He could barely hold the dice. He had been wanting to learn to play forever and was finally brave enough to try. I asked him if he was out there gambling alone or with family and he said his wife was up in the room, but he thought she’d make him nervous so he wouldn’t let her come down until he had played for a while.

dice-25637_640 (2)I thought…performance anxiety at your age?! But I let the thought go and just laughed to myself. It may have been the mimosa getting to me. Maybe.

The old dude was good and rolled us some awesome numbers, shaking the whole time. He was almost sweating! I was really proud of him for doing something that obviously made him uncomfortable. It reminded me to always be doing, always be learning, and always, always do the things that scare you the most.

We say goodbye and head to a different casino and meet a very nice guy from California. We talk and high five a lot and win a lot of money and then lose a lot of money together. We bonded. Then we went our separate ways.

A couple nights later, we walk into a restaurant and end up eating at the bar. The guy next to us turns around and it’s our California man. What are the odds? (I’m sure they actually know the odds for this in Vegas, but…I’m guessing they are pretty low.) Anyway, he starts talking about how long we’ve been married and blah, blah, blah, and it turns out he’s from India and he and his wife had an arranged marriage. Now, that is interesting. They met a month before they got married. A month.

They lived in India for a year or so – about the length of time it took them to have feelings for each other(!!). Then they moved to the US. He had lived here before, but she hadn’t. She’d never been out of India, and now she was living in San Francisco. Can you imagine? They lived there about a year, and she took a job in Kentucky for 9 months. She taught herself how to drive. She only saw her husband once a month. How brave do you have to be to accomplish all of that?

Don’t people have the most interesting stories? It’s a shame that we end up traveling so far away to hear them. Everyone has their story, if we’d just put down our phones and quit trying to tell our own stories, we’d learn so many things.

I also learned that if a guy on the street asks for crack, but you give him deep fried Oreos, he’s just as happy.

But that’s a whole other story.

Slightly Tilted: It’s the BIG one!

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

I’m turning 40 next month. It’s not really a big deal. You know, for those 5 minutes a day that I don’t think about it.

Last week I went to the doctor because I was hurting everywhere. I mean, everywhere. It turns out I had tennis elbow in both arms and a pinched nerve in my back that made my right leg feel like it was on fire.

I walked in a 39-year-old woman with an achy body and walked out feeling 90 years old with a new medical vocabulary.

barbie tennisHow did this happen to me?! I don’t even play tennis! I don’t deserve to be falling apart with medical injuries named after a sport in which I don’t participate! That’s just not right.

I feel 18 on the inside, but my body is constantly reminding me I’m not all that and a bag of chips anymore. (Did I just date myself even more by saying “all that and a bag of chips”?! Jeez!!) I’m like a musical instrument when I walk — snapping ankles, creaking knees, and a bunch of sighing.

And I work out! I exercise daily! I stretch! I eat right! It’s frustrating.

When I was younger — like yesterday — Botox seemed crazy to me. Inject yourself with a known poison just to make wrinkles go away? No way!

Now, it’s like…what’s the recovery time? Can I put it in that crease between my butt and thighs to lift my booty? Just how much can I use before it’s considered a “lethal dose”?

I mean…I haven’t used it yet, but it’s worth a little research, right?

I asked my mom just the other day at what age you feel like a responsible, fully-grown adult whose body matches the way you feel on the inside. She said she didn’t know yet.

I love that answer. I’ll always be 18 on the inside, even if I don’t look that way to the rest of the world and my body is crumbling around me. So cheers to all you youngins’ trapped in a body that won’t fully cooperate anymore! Put on your dancing shoes today and throw back the Advil tomorrow.

We’ve got some living to do.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

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Slightly Tilted: Becoming the Procrastinator

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

I’m not a procrastinator. I’ll have something done before you finish asking me for it. I was always the nerd that would finish the semester-long assignment the first week it was assigned.

I don’t like projects and chores hanging over my head – I want them done! Now!

But lately…oh, lately. It’s been a whirlwind of work, school, dramatic fights with kids in retail stores, major life events, and unforeseen situations. I don’t know what’s been the air the last six months or so, but I’m ready for it to go away.

All life’s stresses seemed to hit at one time, which definitely affected my way of life. I became…dun dun dun…THE PROCRASTINATOR.

I have been surprised – both good and bad – at this turn of events. My husband is usually the one who has the procrastination market cornered. He can procrastinate about his procrastination. Never at work, oh no…he saves all of that for home. #ImSoBlessed

to-do-listWhat I’ve learned through this “forced, but necessary” procrastination era of my life is this: it’s okay to wait a bit and let the creativity fester.

Usually I’m so focused on getting the project done and off my “to do” list, that I don’t take the time to kick around several ideas.

I can be too structured, too obvious. I need to take a step back and let my mind wander. Somewhere along the way, I traded deadlines for originality. That’s not necessarily bad, but it sure as heck ain’t good either.

There is something to “smelling the roses” and, although I wasn’t ignoring a situation or project to just laze around and do nothing, focusing on another situation or project allowed me to have fresh eyes when life swung me back the other way.

Some days, I just had to give myself a mental and emotional break and watch Netflix all day and not move. Those days were good, too. Wiping your brain clean of stress allows you to slowly refocus on the people and situations that are causing you stress in the first place.

The not-so-good is that some friendships were strained, some feelings were hurt, and some projects were dropped. As bad as these things were, I really think they couldn’t be helped. Although I never intended – or wanted – that to happen, I would have destroyed my family and my sanity by trying to juggle ten or more balls in the air. I’m just a overgrown girl, not a magician.

I can feel my anti-procrastination creeping back in, and although it’s a welcoming, comfortable feeling, I think I’m going to fight it for a bit longer. I need some mental space. I need a creative spark. I need to breathe.

But don’t tell my kids – I want their rooms cleaned. Right. Now.

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)

Slightly Tilted: Broken Rememberers

By Jen Adair, Blogger at Slightly Tilted, Entreprenuer, Homeschool Mom to two fab kiddos

My kids are not at all like elephants. Elephants are supposed to have great memories. My kids have no memory. At all. I don’t know what happened to it, but I think it is probably lost under their beds or crammed in their closet somewhere. I’ve given up on ever finding it again.

Some things they forget:

1. Daily chores and hygiene routines are always a surprise.

I tell my son to brush his teeth. I find him wandering the house looking for his yo-yo.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“No, I’m looking for my yo-yo.”

toothbrushes“What are you supposed to doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re supposed to be in your bathroom brushing your teeth.”

“Oh, yeah.”

*Wanders off down the hall, looking for his yo-yo.

“Dude. Teeth.”

“Brush them? Now?”

“Yes!”

*My head explodes.

2. I always win because I AM THE MOM.

nerds-candyThey sometimes (and by this I mean AT ALL TIMES) forget that my definition of any word wins because I am the mom. For example, food, as I define it, is a healthy, nutritious, and delicious way to fortify the body. Food, in my kids’ opinion, is packaged, unnaturally colored, sugar laden crap with no nutritional value at all.

“Nerds on top of ice cream is not real food and is not appropriate for dinner. Remember we had this conversation last night? Remember?”

“No. But mom…it is real food! I eat it!”

“You used to eat play dough! That’s not food either!”

3. Bedtime is not a negotiation.

There is a bedtime at our house. This is a magical time that my hubby and I look forward to because it means the kids are not with us. They are not in our field of vision. We can’t hear them. As two parents that homeschool and work from home, bedtime is our make-it-or-break-it time. The countdown to 8 PM is on from practically the minute we wake up in the morning.

There is no negotiation.

The kids try to negotiate every night.

I guess they can’t tell from our expressions and attitudes that we are in no mood for any hi-jinks from the two of them. They are good kids and they will be good kids in the morning. Right now…they need to go away to dreamland and daddy and I need to go to a kid-free land.

rp_timex-watch-183x300.jpg“But…it’s only 8!! I’m not tired yet!”

“I don’t care if you’re tired. I’m tired.”

“But…I’m hungry and thirsty and…”

“You just ate and there’s a cup. Get some water from the bathroom.”

“Bathroom water is grooooooossssss!”

“Why don’t you bring snacks and water to your room with you every night?”

“I forrrrrgggggeeeetttt!”

“You need to remember.”

“My rememberer isn’t working!”

“You must be tired.”

“I’m NOOOOOTTTTT!”

And there is the real reason for all the conflict in our house: their remeberers are broken.

Think they have those on Amazon?

jen adair3Hey. I’m Jen Adair. I’m an entrepreneur. Homeschool mom. CEO of organized chaos. Ok – it’s really not all that organized. Some days are great, some are not, some days I feel invincible, some days I can barely get out of bed. BUT…it’s my life and I’m living it. Browse my collection of random thoughts, humor (well, I think I’m funny!), images, links, whatever…at my blog Slightly Tilted. Sharing is caring, people! :)