By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3
When you’re a mother of three with a little experience under your belt, you should really know better. But last night I made a classic rookie mistake. I didn’t get around to shopping for the kids’ school supplies until the night before said supplies were due at school orientation. Dumb. Very dumb.
There I was in an aisle swamped with desperate shoppers, just like me scrambling for a few packs of No. 2 pencils and Elmer’s glue. The scene looked much like a crowded toy store on Christmas Eve, minus the “peace on Earth and goodwill to men”.
When you wait until the night before to shop for school supplies, you not only have to wade through throngs of people, you also have to deal with shortages. Last night I needed a certain type of red folder 
specified by the kids’ school. It was supposed to have pockets and metal prongs to hold the paper inside. But all the smart parents who’d planned ahead had already bought all the red folders with metal prongs, leaving me with boxes and boxes of no-prong folders to sift through in shame. I and my fellow procrastinators searched through the leftovers hoping perhaps one or two pronged folders would magically surface.
All around me there were irritable fathers on cell phones talking to mothers who were dictating the school supply list. “No, they don’t have any red folders with prongs left,” I heard one say. “I’ll just get the kind without prongs. What? Why can’t I get the kind without prongs? It’s still a folder! Well, they don’t have any. What? Red pens? No, they’re all out of red pens. I’ll just get red crayons. Well, why not? They’re still red!”
By the time I left the store, the school supply aisle was a shambles. A bin of folders without prongs spilled out on the floor and hurried shoppers dodged the mess as they continued their futile quest. I left the store two supplies short of a completed list which meant I had to make a last-ditch attempt to find them at another store first thing this morning. I berated myself all the way home and swore I’d never wait until the night before ever, ever again.
There’s a saying that goes “When you know better, you do better.” And experienced parents learn, often the hard way, that there are a few mistakes you just don’t want to make more than once. Along with shopping for school supplies the day before school, here are a few other rookie mistakes that make my list:
Leaving the house with a baby and no backup baby outfit: When you make this mistake, cruel fate will step in and give your baby a terrible poopy diaper “blow-out” which will inevitably travel all the way up the baby’s back and between his small shoulder blades, soaking through his clothes and onto yours.
- Forgetting to buy batteries on Christmas morning: There’s nothing quite like kids thrilled by new presents which they have no chance of trying out until the stores open the next day. Fun times.
- Thinking you can potty train your kid when you are ready: There’s absolutely no such thing as parents who potty train kids. The truth is that the kid is going to do it when the kid is darn good and ready, and the parent will simply provide the potty, the Scooby Doo underwear and heaps of praise whenever that time comes. You know that old phrase about how you can “lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”? Same applies to toddlers and their bowels. Parents are just along for the ride, bumps and all.
The good news is that I did find those blasted red folders with the all-important prongs. I spotted one this morning in a pack of 10 other folders (which I absolutely did not need), so I snatched them up before another desperate parent could get them first. Sure, I had to pay for the unnecessary nine extra folders, but I finished the list and learned my lesson – even parents who should know better still have a few things left to learn.
Got any more “rookie mistakes” to add to my list? Click the word “comment” below and post your additions. 
Gwen Rockwood is a mom to three great kids, wife to one cool guy, a newspaper columnist and co-owner of nwaMotherlode.com. To read previously published installments of The Rockwood Files, click here. Â
Enjoy!
When Chelsea Clinton got married recently, observers said her dad, former President Bill Clinton, managed to hold it together while he walked her down the aisle. He lifted her veil and whispered a few last words before giving her away. But when he danced with his daughter to the famous Sinatra song The Way You Look Tonight, that’s “when he lost it,” said a wedding guest. The Clintons said that while they have led interesting lives, the most important thing they’ve done is raising Chelsea. (Source: People magazine, August 16, 2010 issue)
Singer Katy Perry, whose song California Gurls has been a huge hit this summer, will be the voice of Smurfette in the 2011 movie “The Smurfs.” Perry is engaged to British actor-comedian Russell Brand. (Source: People magazine, August 30, 2010 issue)
Sandra Bullock’s adoption of son Louis was finalized on August 13th in a juvenile court in New Orleans. Always behaving with class, Bullock was quoted as saying “I support Jesse in his move to Austin. We have both moved on with our lives and only want the best for each other. Anything else that is said on my behalf is inaccurate.” (Source: People magazine, August 30, 2010 issue)
he is the kind of dad (to four kids who range in ages from 7 months to 7 years old) he replied “I’m trying to be the best dad I can. I’m probably softer than I should be, but I’m pushing myself to be harder. What I do every day is pray for the strength to be a good servant, father and husband. I ask for the ability to raise my kids, to teach and protect them, and to be disciplined and firm and loving and nurturing. It can be a fine line, so I ask God for the strength to not lose my patience with my children.” (Source: People magazine, August 16, 2010 issue)
celebs who have recently welcomed babies into their lives or are currently expecting: Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Joey Fatone (N’Sync), Tiffani Thiessen (Saved by the Bell), James Van Der Beek (Dawson’s Creek), Mario Lopez (Saved by the Bell), Joey Lawrence (Blossom) and Danica McKellar (from The Wonder Years). (Source: People magazine, August 30, 2010 issue)
Drew Carey, host of The Price is Right, lost 80 pounds by exercising and cutting bread and soda out of his diet. The weight loss has helped him be healthy enough to stop taking diabetes medication, and now he wants to start running 10-kilometer races soon. “I was barely getting into a size 44 at The Gap,” he said. “Now I wear a 33. I like being skinny.” (Source: People magazine, August 16, 2010 issue)
August 16, 2010 issue)
visit to the world’s largest Spam museum where one can see “16,500 square feet of Spam artifacts, history and fun”.
Keep in mind that this trip is 631 miles and should take about 9 hours and 40 minutes if you never stop. But when you’re in a minivan with three little kids, the adjusted drive time for this trip is about two weeks of interstate purgatory, give or take a few days.
of quarters at the beginning of the trip. The “Car Coins” are theirs to keep as long as they have good behavior in the car. If they whine, argue, fight, or otherwise mess up along the way, they must give you one or two quarters for each infraction, (depending on just how much it ticked you off). At the end of the trip, they keep the remaining quarters.
